We have all encountered both sides of the coin at times: being both the friend with the cool mom and wishing we were the one with the cool mom. But, I'm specifically speaking to those out there that know what it's like to have an all-around cool mom, one that your friends might even enjoy hanging out with a little too much.

I know what it's like to have one of these moms. I also know what it's like to have my friends always telling me how "chill" she is and how they wish their parents were more like her.

Over the years, and in growing in the relationship I have with my mother, I have gotten to understand the idea of the "cool mom" better and better. For many, it's kind of become like a fantasy: an idea that a child can get away with whatever they want, or that the mother will be more lax and more easy-going. The cool mom persona has become this goal of the ultimate mom, the fun, carefree, and ruleless mother. However, in my opinion, this isn't what being the cool mom is about at all; it's about so much more.

The cool mom is not about having a mom that lets you get away with everything, turns a blind eye and encourages inappropriate or bad behavior. It's about having a mother who has an abundance of faith and trust in you, who encourages you to live your live to the fullest but has taught you right from wrong and responsibility. It's about a mother who doubles as a friend you can do pretty much anything with.

This is the definition of the "cool mom" that our generation should be upholding, and it starts by focusing on the why behind a mom is a cool mom.

She doesn't simply let you roam around, go out late, stay out until any hour of the night, and do anything your heart desires, although that is how some people view the cool mom. And it's not that she just woke up and decided to be that "cool." Over time, from years of trust being built and responsibility being seen on your part, your mom believes in your judgment and your ability to not take advantage of her kindness. Further, it's not about the parents out there that let their kids do bad stuff such as drinking, smoking, or partaking in anything with them they really shouldn't (and we all know the friends whose parents do). It's about forming a close-knit relationship so you can come to your parent, your mother, anytime, with anything that is going on. This relationship helps to create a friendship between you and your mother, one of mutual understanding and respect. Consequently, this faith, trust, responsibility and friendship, all go hand-in-hand to develop why the cool mom represents the cool that someone sees looking in from the outside.

All together, next time you look at someone's mom and think about how "cool" she is or about how it seems like your friend always gets to do what he or she wants, think about why that may be. Think about the relationship they may have formed over the years and the underlying foundation of trust that the "cool mom" is built on. Take it from someone who has the mom everyone thinks is cool: it didn't happen overnight and it's not a one way street. Everything I've been talking about, the faith, respect, understanding and friendship is a work in progress everyday. But, it only works as long as there is commitment from both sides. So remember, the cool mom is attainable; maybe it won't happen today or tomorrow, but with a little TLC any relationship can be formed.