"Men always use that as the defining compliment, right? She's a cool girl. Being a Cool Girl means I am hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker and dirty jokes, who plays video games and chugs beer." Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl

Now I know this is a quote from a novel from a woman who is certifiably insane. But she hit the nail on the head.

For some reason, every girl wants to be this Cool Girl. Guys are fascinated with this Cool Girl. She's down to Earth, while normal girls are high maintenance. She's funny, while normal girls just "aren't as funny" as guys. She's down for anything, while normal girls aren't secure enough to let loose and have a good time. She likes things that boys like, while girls are interested in nails and clothes and makeup. Cool Girl is #goals.

But what does that even mean? She's not like a normal girl because she acts like a guy all while still being girly and flirty and cute and fun? I hate to break it to ya folks, but this perfect girl doesn't completely exist. This isn't a John Green novel where the quirky nerd guy and the cool mysterious girl who likes videogames and everything he likes somehow manages to get the girl. In fact, it's dangerous and kind of annoying to strive so hard to find this girl.

The Cool Girl is a curse.

For anyone aspiring to be labeled as the Cool Girl, you don't know what you're getting yourself into. It means that whenever you aren't down to have a good time, something's wrong. Or you're mad. Or maybe it's all a charade, and you're not as cool as you seem. What happened to Cool Girl? What have you done to the girl who's always crackin' wise and being relateable? You're not actually Cool Girl. She would never get upset at anything. She always wants to go out. She drops everything to be the life of the party. She'll do anything at her own expense to make sure everyone else is entertained.

Cool Girl brands you as this surface level person who is never allowed to be taken seriously. Once you try to get #deep with someone, you're shattering this illusion that you probably didn't ask for assuming you're only purpose is to be a good time. You're being boring for wanting to catch up on homework or not go to a party. You have ceased to exist as this out-of-reach girl who's got the guys' code that girls can't quite seem to crack.

To say that the Cool Girl isn't just your regular run-of-the-mill girl means that girls are naturally high maintenance, or girls just aren't fun to be around, or girls just have too many feelings. Because the Cool Girl's only emotion is bubbly and fun. She relates to guys in a way other girls want to. She should always be up for fun or she isn't the Cool Girl anymore, she's just a girl.

The brand immediately makes you intimidating. Because if you're not smiling and laughing every time you talk to or see someone, then you must know or think that you're better. Which totally isn't cool, you can't be aware of that. So people are going to stay away, because Cool Girl doesn't want to be dragged down by the normal girl.

Thinking a girl is cool for having common interests or being fun to be around is fine. But this brand of Cool Girl who gets all the guys because she's funny or she's just like them or she isn't like those other girls backs her into a corner. Girls are scared of this imaginary power which does not exist. Guys are all about hanging out until you do something that any other girl would do and suddenly prove you're just a fraud.

Cool Girl does not exist. John Green probably made her up to make insecure teens like himself feel secure and have something to aspire to. Great, but that's a fictional scenario. Girls who run away from home to because "nobody understands them" aren't being artsy. The Cool Girl isn't some breed you can hope to transform yourself into. The imaginary ease and perfection can stay in a fiction book where it belongs.