I have a relationship with God. I always have. I've prayed or wrote or just simply thought to him. But I always feel like I have to keep that to myself because I am so scared of being judged since I never grew up going to church. It sucks that I can't feel comfortable confessing that I do have a connection with God because I'm scared people will tell me my views are wrong or my relationship with God is "sad." I don't want to feel like I can't have a connection with God or find my faith because our relationship is not the same as every other Christian.

I have recently realized my relationship with God is not going to be your typical relationship being brought up in a church and raised by a Christian family, but my relationship with him is even more special because I was never told God is real, instead, I choose to believe in him on my own. Just because I was not brought up learning about religion it is not too late for me to make my own decisions. I recently have started praying every night. At first, I struggled and I couldn't help but cry because I felt scared I am doing it the wrong way or I feared was not listening to me because of my non-religious background. But now I cry because I feel so brave to be connecting to this higher power and I know now that he is listening to me and prayer really is stronger than the people telling me my relationship with God is less than theirs. If I choose to open up to you about my beliefs, the last thing I want to hear is that my relationship with God is unfortunate or that my purpose in life is wrong. I am sharing how I see my faith, and I would appreciate it if you just accepted that.

I no longer feel as though I am any less than the people who grew up going to church.

I believe it is sad that a lot of people think their religion is based on how their family grew up and what they have been told to believe. Shouldn't your kids be allowed to believe what they want? One thing is for sure, my children will be able to choose what they believe and I will never judge them or love them any less. When I have children they are going to be growing up in a time where the LGBTQ community is more prevalent than it is now, so what good is it to teach my children that being gay is not okay just because the bible says so? That is raising my children to judge and putting more hate in the world than there already is.

God loves everyone. He loves me just as much as he loves you and he loves you just as much as he loves the girl who had a baby before marriage.

If someone sins, God is forgiving. All sins are equal right? So losing your virginity before marriage is equal to lying or liking the same sex. God accept good people but his goal is for everyone to bring something new into the world, and primarily love. That's how I think of it. "Hate the sin, love the sinner" whatever. The bible was written back in the BC era. Years have passed and society is going to change. I truly believe I have had such an amazing life because of my willingness to accept everyone. I don't know much about the Bible obviously, but I know it is contradictory. How can you love everyone but hate their sins. By human habit, if you don't accept someone for who they are, you ultimately can't love them.

It is so unfortunate that I feel that if I don't have the same morals or values as a Christian I can't be Christian.

God knows everyone is different and he is okay for everyone to have different beliefs. How come people are so against gays and abortion but the Bible says no sex till marriage and they're fine with breaking that rule? If the Bible said it was a sin to eat meat because animals are just as much as living as humans, would you stop eating meat? If churches are so welcoming and accepting, then maybe the people who go to them should start being welcoming to people who are different.

And I don't just mean letting a gay person come in for a service, I mean letting them have the same rights we have (like getting married in the church, etc). It's 2019, and whether gays can get married or not, people will never stop loving who they want to love because of a book that was written hundreds of thousands of years ago. And if people can't accept that, again, it is the religion creating hate and judgments, something God does not want.

My ultimate goal is to feel comfortable enough to go to church.

And that's not because I'm being forced to go, as many kids are, it's because I want to learn more about it and greater my connection with God. I will never have the same beliefs as many Christians or as the church, but I will never judge or criticize them for believing what they want to believe. I am trying to become a better person and in the process of that, I wish everyone would appreciate me trying rather than continue persuading me to be more similar to them.