In his dialogue, "The Symposium," Plato has Aristophanes present a story about soulmates. It is stated that humans were originally created with four legs, four arms and a single head with two faces. It is also stated that humans at that time had great strength and threatened to conquer the gods. To fight back, the gods debated to destroy the humans with lightning—much like what they did with the Titans—but were then conflicted by the loss of tributes given to them by the humans if this lightning torture occurred. In effort to put an end to the threat of the multiple-limbed humans, Zeus—the big guy himself—developed a plan to split the humans in half as punishment, this would also double the number of humans who would give tribute to the gods. So it was a fantastic solution in favor of the gods; I’m sure Zeus was very proud of himself.

These split humans were so devastated that they could not eat and were headed toward extinction, so our old friend Apollo had them sewn up. During this process he reconstituted their bodies with the navel being the only remnant of their original form. These newly formed humans would then forever long to find his or her other half, the other half of their soul. It is then said that when the two would find each other there would be an unspoken understanding of one another; that they would lie together in unity and would know no greater joy than what comes with being united.

Now there are some, like Jeremy Nicholson M.S. W., Ph.D., who state that believing in the idea of a soulmate existing specifically for a person is an unrealistic expectation, and that one in search of this phenomenon will be tragically let down. It is clear he disagrees with Plato when he says, “Looking for perfect Compatibility and a soulmate kills motivation to work at successful relationships with good partners."

The research makes sense. It is said that those who believe in romantic destiny usually expect things to fall into place and to have the relationship work when it’s with the right person. This would then lead to giving up when the problems arise—because based on the logic in the belief, if you're with your soulmate, then everything is perfect.

The opposing side, those who believe in romantic growth rather than destiny, primarily look for someone to put in the effort to work and grow with them. Nicholson states that although these people don’t experience the intense and euphoric feeling at the beginning of a relationship unlike the believers in soulmates. This then leads to his conclusion that those who believe in cultivation tend to have longer relationships and more satisfying over time.

Now my question here is: Is it possible to be both a believer in soulmates and cultivation?

In my personal opinion, soulmates do exist. I really believe that there is someone out there made for you and that you will find him or her one day when the timing is right. But I also believe that there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Couples fight, and there are going to be disagreements and problems because that is just in our human nature. I strongly agree with the idea of someone being meant for me, but I also strongly agree with the idea that if I were to give up when something goes wrong in my relationship then I will never be happy.

I am a very passionate person when it comes to the person I love. I experience the euphoria with him and it is indescribable in the most amazing way, but, I also experience the negatives of any relationship; the fighting and the struggles. This in no way makes me feel like I should give up. I do not tell myself “hey if he were the one then things would be perfect so I should just ditch this” because what couple doesn’t have any problems? It’s not about the fact that there are problems it’s about the fact that you get through those problems together. I believe if you are truly meant for each other then you will always get through whatever gets thrown at you because the love shared between you two is just that powerful. You should have to work to grow with your soulmate, because that’s your other half we are talking about. They are worth fighting for. As are you. You can believe in destiny or you can believe in growth, but i believe you can be destined to grow with someone.