To The Boy Who Tried To Break Me

You pulled me in and damn, did you have me. I was yours and no one else’s. You made it seem that your heart was on the table for me. That there was nothing holding you back and you were mine for the taking.

You said words that intoxicated me. I was a sucker for your story. It may have been true and maybe you didn't tell any lies, but the meaning behind telling me was fake. You didn’t want me to be all yours. You didn’t want me to see you at your most vulnerable.

But I did. I did and you shut off. You closed your doors and put your walls back up and I was no longer in the picture. I was an object to you. A prize to be won and you didn’t care how you went about winning me.

You vomited words at me that I had never heard before. Phrases that are supposed to mean the world to a person, but broke me in half. I didn’t want to hear those from you. From someone who didn’t mean them.

You took that experience from me. The first time I would ever hear someone say that to me and you stole it for your own personal gain. I will never get that back.

And once you were done and had gotten what you wanted from me, you tossed me aside. Never to think about again.

This almost broke me. I started hating myself for letting you put me in that position. I wasn’t excited for my future with another person because the things I used to look forward to, you had taken from me. You almost broke me.

But I got back up. I look at myself in the mirror and I don’t cringe anymore. I don’t try to pretend I’m someone else anymore to forget about the things you put me through. You don’t understand and you never will. Because that is who you are. Selfish. And that is who you’ll always be.

But I am not a reflection of the people I let come into my past. I am a reflection of how I deal with people like you.

You tried to break me. But all you did was make me stronger. Maybe someday you’ll look back and wish you had done things differently, but for now, you’ll just have to go through every day knowing that I am not broken.

I am whole.