To many of my friends and family, this article has been a long time coming. As a college sophomore, I’ve had a great deal of time to reflect on my past relationship and to really analyze how it affected me. To really understand this article, you’ll probably need some background information.
In high school, many people would say I had the perfect fairytale relationship. I was only 14 when we started dating. He was two years older. Throughout high school, I continued to fall more and more in love with the boy who I thought would be my forever. Cliché, right? For many, it was the type of relationship that always looked perfect from the outside. “You two are so cute” seemed like a normal occurrence. Jump a few years ahead, now it’s second semester of junior year. He’s currently in boot camp for the United States Navy. Being the typical military girlfriend and soaking up every gut-wrenching second of it, I was more than excited to see my new man. Finally, coming home in September, the love of my life decided to ask for my hand in marriage. I was 17. My parents were supportive, his parents were supportive, everything was perfect. Or so it seemed.
Flash forward to seven months later with a ring on my finger, I hadn’t seen my fiancé for more than a day since he proposed. Well, little did I know that the next two days after his home arrival were going to be the absolute worst days of my life. To sum it up, I was not engaged anymore. And the man I put my life on hold for had never really put anything on hold for me. I was lied to for three years. He was not faithful and had blatantly lied about it to my face. For years I had given my all to someone who had never truly given me theirs. It was one big slap to the face.
The entire summer following was one huge eye opener, and also where my advice begins. After my entire high school career being dependent on someone else for happiness, I had finally found myself. After being put down and told it was my fault we broke up, I had finally learned my self-worth. I had learned that if someone truly loves you, they won’t lie. And finally, I had learned that everything really does happen for a reason, and this was not God’s plan for me.
To my parents, thank you for listening to me cry through a wall for countless nights. Thank you for cleaning off my hand after I punched a glass picture. Thank you for not forcing me to talk about anything. I’m sorry you had to watch me fall apart.
To my best friends, I cannot begin to describe how important of a role you played in my life during this time. Thank you for not going into detail every time a stranger in the hall asked you what happened to your best friend’s relationship. Thank you for driving over in the middle of the night and listen to me nervously laugh about the situation. And thank you for crying with me and for hurting when I hurt. No matter what our friendship looks like today, just know that you will always hold an important place in my heart because of what you’ve done for me.
Lastly, to my ex, thank you. Thank you for making me realize you were not meant for me. Seriously, thank you for leaving me. If you hadn’t, I would’ve never learned so much about myself. I also would’ve never found the much better man that really was meant for me. You taught me so many lessons so early in my life that many people never learn.
When you get your heart broken, it seems as if nothing in the world will ever be good again. You usually want to sit in your bed, eat ice cream, and watch sappy love stories, right? Well, I’m here to tell you that’s okay. Just know that after you’re over that phase, do not ever lose your self-worth. Do not ever lose sight of your goals and be sure to never lose your self-identity in someone else. I can assure you that the relationship that broke you into pieces as a teenager will make you the most beautiful and put together mosaic you could imagine. It shapes you into the true person God created. You have so much to look forward to in your life and nothing, not even love, needs to be rushed. Your true fairytale will happen when the time is right. Trust God’s plan and you will never be failed. Disappointed sometimes? Maybe. But life is full of learning from your experiences, and I hope you will learn something from mine. I know I sure did.
