It starts very minimal. I was flipping through T.V. and came across your favorite team playing and I stopped to watch, wondering if you're doing the same. I don't normally watch football, but I do now because it was your favorite thing to do. Instantly, I can remember the laughs and memories from each date every time I go to our favorite restaurants. When Red Hot Chili Peppers comes on, I know all the words. But I don’t laugh as much now, because you knew all the right things to say. Hanging around with old friends brings an ache to my heart knowing you didn't come because I was probably with them. Seeing your family on Facebook and missing the times I spent with them. My weekends are spent at home watching old episodes of Friends for fear of running into you at a party. Slowly but surely, I realize that in a short time, you changed me so much.
I lived the same normal life for 18 years, but you shook my world up in such a short time. You made me realize how partying and going out wasn't everything. Staying in and watching movies or cooking dinner was just as fun. I got to meet an amazing family and see the life you had. My time was spent learning more about you while losing myself. I was becoming less wild and more tamed. Your quiet demeanor was opposite of my spontaneous personality. It happens to the best of us. At some point in every girl's life, a boy, like you, comes into the picture but leaves, making us pick up the pieces and wondering what happened.
So now I'm different person, but for the better. But it took awhile to get here. Before you I was lost, lost in life, lost in a love I didn't have, lost in the work I couldn't get done, lost because I didn't know who I was. Without you and our crazy, fun and loving times, I wouldn't have known what life could be. I keep myself busy nowadays, between classes, friends and sorority life. Sometimes, I do pause for a moment when I see a plaid shirt boy, or a green ball cap and my heart races and I think of you.
So thank you, for everything. For breaking my heart and for teaching me about myself. Because of you I learned that I should probably study better, that it's okay to cry, GADS at 2 a.m. is perfectly okay and golf carts are not always safe. You truly brought out the best in me. That’s why letting go is so hard because, out of a million things that I thought would happen in my life when I moved to school, meeting someone like you, I thought was impossible.You were a mystery, a risk, something different and quite possibly the most certain thing I've ever had in my life.
