I recently found an unread Facebook message from about 6 years ago. It was someone using a fake profile saying that my boyfriend at the time was cheating on me.
I never actually saw the message when it was sent. We wound up ending things about a year later, but on other terms. Fast forward 6 years later, I read that message with such gratefulness in my heart. First, to the young woman who made that account and believed that I deserved to hear the truth. Then, I realized my thankfulness for the where I am now, and that I can see that terrible road I walked down for years, but in the far distance.
Looking back, I can vividly remember the pit in my stomach that I woke up with daily, as I wrestled with thoughts of doubt and humiliation. I knew he was doing something behind my back. There always was a situation that didn't add up. But there was never a conclusion. Now I know that the conclusion was there all along. It was just sitting in my unread Facebook messages.
Often, the truth we believe that we so desperately desire is available to us. We just aren’t accepting it’s messenger when it comes knocking. Maybe we can’t even hear the knock on the door because we are filling our ears with any noise we can to avoid the pain that will come with it. We sit and wait for the “right time”, but we’re just delaying the inevitable. I guess that’s why they say, “ignorance is bliss”.
The thing about the truth is, it’s always revealed. We can run around and avoid it for as long as possible, but eventually it finds us. It is our human-nature be truth seekers.
When I think about the way I felt when I ended things with my then-boyfriend, it seems like another lifetime. Mainly because it's not really important to me anymore. I don’t even remember that guy’s middle name. I’m a lot happier now for many reasons.
The lesson is that ignorance can be bliss, but in truth, there is freedom. Ignorance is Euphoric. It’s ecstasy, and the come down is bitter. When you run out of the serotonin (or lies), keeping you afloat, you’re left with the ache. This is the sharp knife called, reality. This is your truth.
If you ask me, it’s not worth the trip.
My heart doesn’t hurt for myself anymore, but it does hurt for you. To the girl who is reading this and feeling like this hit a little too close to home, don’t ignore that pit in your stomach. Don’t discount discernment. The truth is approaching you, but you have to decide to let it in. Over time, it will gain strength and learn to manifest itself into more obvious ways. Today it’s unread Facebook message from a stranger, but tomorrow it’s a friendship on the line because the people who love you can’t watch you go through this anymore.
The truth is constantly chasing after you, and you can’t ride the wave of ignorance forever. When it all comes crashing down, may you rest in the reality and know, the view only gets better from there.
