My Worth

Is something not seen but felt

by my heart and soul

it struggles to understand

the definition of itself

because it never knew its true meaning

what it knew was how others showed it

to my heart and soul

Tearing away at the core piece by piece

until there was nothing but shreds

He ripped a piece and she ripped a piece

pulling at the body like a toy

snatched from a toy bin

I opened the door inch by inch

let them in one by one

until the door was ripped off

there was nothing to knock on

This is how it’s supposed to be

giving your all until you’re nothing left

or so I thought

I gave and gave and gave

and you took and took and took

i am your unlimited supply of energy

that keeps you going for years

That fairy dust you sprinkled on yourself

and over my eyes kept me from

seeing the undeniable truth

right in front of me

I was worth nothing to you

which meant I was worth nothing

Worthless

The temptation of the love I wanted

was never there

but just an illusion

not to feel the loneliness creeping

up in my body

Soon my body and soul

was overwhelmed by the darkness

held back by your illusion

I began to understand

that there was nowhere to go

and nothing to comfort irrefutable

emptiness existence surrounding me

I am worthless

worth nothing to anyone

I believed those words because

the actions proved it

I am falling in the black hole

that is never ending

swallowing up any light

daring to enter

There is nothing more to take

from this body torn into shreds

no big chunks of love

to drain from

You were unable to carry

the bright light I gave to you

so you threw it away in

the black hole to consume it

Worthless

Is what I am to you

It’s the meaning of the word

you show me when

you pull me from the ground

like a weed being pulled

from its roots

because it is inconvenient

Worthless

Is showing me that I am

no longer needed on your

journey to the top

of the wall you constantly

fall from

Worthless

Is abusing the love shown to you

by closing your door shut

while opening mine wide enough

to tear it off its hinges

Worthless

Is knowing I don’t like asking

for help but not helping

me when I get the courage

to finally ask for it

Worthless

Is coming back right

after you left thinking I

would accept with open arms

but beating the walls down

to force your way in anyway

Worthless

Is saying you care

and love me but

telling everyone around

the exact opposite

Worthless

Is finally believing it

enough to remain alone

because it’s easier to bolt the doors

and windows shut

surrounding myself in the never ending

black hole known as

Worthlessness

I am worthless.