A lot of people believe if you don't like the individual you are dating, you should just leave because you cannot force a person to change who they are, and if it is not working then there is not much you can do.
There is a brilliant article that was written titled, "To The Girl Waiting For Him To Change, DON'T," and this is were the inspiration for this topic came from. After reading this article, I came to to conclusion she is right, but that is not the whole picture here.
Romantic relationships can be a extremely complicated situation at times.
There are moments where you should just leave and never look back. I mean, you are responsible for your own happiness after all. If another person is constantly making it difficult for you to be happy in life, you have every right to get out of there. On the other end, there will be moments when patience and time is the only thing that will propel you into that ideal relationship. Unfortunately, there are many moments where you cannot discern between the two situations. You just cant tell which situation is which and the easier way to handle the situation would be to cut the whole situation off.
I respect anyone's decision to be happy, and I agree with the article that was written, but it wasn't the whole story.
It doesn't explain the possibilities of what could happen if you did stay. I am not speaking specifically about the article and that persons situation, but there are some general things that need to be explained when talking about waiting for a person to change. The first thing is change is hard, and the second thing is relationships are a two person deal.
When a person is attempting to change themselves for the better, it can be extremely difficult.
They may lose the battle after a week, month, or year. It is possible but as long as they have the drive and desire to change for the better they will get there eventually. I say that to explain there is no certain amount of time you should be waiting. You shouldn't expect someone to change who they are to be a quick linear process. The reality of the situation is change takes time. There is no set number of "chances" you should be giving a person. It honestly could be one and it could be twenty. I would say both number of "chances" are acceptable. It really depends on if you believe your partner is trying their hardest to change. It also depends on if you believe the change is worth the wait. You also have to be real with yourself as well. You could be wrong and if you are wrong you have to accept that as OK. Failure happens. It is apart of life, but you will still learn and grow from situations like that.
The idea behind wanting someone to change should not be for your own personal happiness.
In a relationship, if you want your partner to change, that change should be for the better of that individual. You should ask your partner to change because it will be the best for them. If that is not the case, it is possible you need to change your own perspective about how you view their action. Maybe your girlfriend doesn't play too many video games. Maybe you are not use to someone who enjoys spending their free time on video games. Maybe you can change yourself to love what they love instead of asking them to change their ways. This is a minuscule example when compared to the bigger issues a relationship can present, but the thinking behind it stays the same. Consider how you are viewing a situation and how the situation could change if you changed your views about it. Easier said than done, of course, but the same can be said for someone changing their habits. At the very least, consider your view of these situations as a person is attempting to change themselves. It is possible that they are making an honest attempt to change, but you are not seeing it.
It is true that you cannot change someone or force someone to change.
If you see really unlikable tendencies in a relationship, then leave. Put your happiness first. Eventually you will run into someone who does make you happy, but this person might have some challenging issues you have to deal with. The situation may take a while to iron out, and there will be extremely rough times. Some people are actually worth the wait. Some situations are not worth waiting for. Some situations you will never know what they are until you reflect on it years later.
I suggest giving it all you have because love is hard to find!
