When 2017 started the only resolution I made to myself is to live my life with more pettiness and spite. In telling people this some of them thought it was hilarious and laughed it off. Others were concerned and try to tell me that living my life that way is no way of living. For the most part, that is true. Living through such negative emotions such as spite and pettiness can lead to you becoming worse off or even more negative. But that is if you try this with the wrong mentality.

To put the concept simply, think of your spite as a rage-filled determination. A drive to prove that you are worthy through blood, sweat, and tears. You can use this rage for anything, from improving your grades, your romantic life, or even trying to change yourself for the better.

Let us take romance as an example of the positive ways and negative ways to use spite. Let us say your name is Lee and you were interested in someone named Reagan. You and Reagan have been getting rather close over the last few months and you think something is blossoming between you and everything seems to be going well. But somewhere along the lines, you end up confused and heartbroken as Reagan moves on to someone else and you are left to pick up the pieces of what could have been. Now at this point, you need to consider your actions. It is fine to mourn the idea of Reagan but what do you do after? Do you let your spite from the pain consume you and you try everything in your power to ruin Reagan’s life?

That option may make you feel good temporarily but it can lead the way to many potential consequences for it to really be worth it in the end. You may anger the wrong people. You may be labeled as dangerous. Others may take Reagan’s side over yours. And we wouldn’t want that now do we?

Instead take this alternative route instead. Let the rage you were originally going to use on destructive behavior and be explosive in other ways. Go to the gym if that will make you feel better and work on those legs. Meet new people that like to do things you like to do or have better taste than Reagan. Read something you usually wouldn’t, change your outfits or your hair. Do anything you never expect yourself to do to make you feel better and make Reagan realize they were a scrub or at least feel some guilt.

Same applies to those who tried to influence you to be different. Have a family member that was too insistent on a degree in college and was disappointed in the one you picked? Work hard and play the game well with the drive of spite to prove you can do just as well or that you know better for yourself. If people think you can’t have the American dream because you are extremely tattooed and like to ride a motorcycle? Get yourself a house with a picket fence with a spouse you love and the typical two children.

Let spite guide you to a successful life and a better you. It can start from rage but depending on how you use it, it can turn into a force for good. Negativity is sometimes needed for us to get the push we need to continue to walk the path we want. Or we are petty, whichever works best for you.