If there was one piece of my mama’s advice that I wish I would have accepted far earlier in life, it’s that you shouldn't care about what other people think of you. I myself have struggled with 'caring too much' my entire life. I once allowed the opinions of others to have full influence over the choices I made in life. It took me 19 years to understand that worrying about other people’s opinions of you is a complete waste of your time.
To embrace the beauty of not caring, you must understand these two ideas:
1. There will always be someone who judges your character, so stick with those who believe in who you are.
I have only recently accepted the simple truth that as human beings we are bound to make mistakes, and we all have flaws that at times cannot be concealed. No matter how good of a heart you may have, we all make poor choices and we all make mistakes. Again, this is part of being human, and it is part of growing. The problem is that most of us then fret over how other people are going to judge our character in the wake of our mistakes or unpopular choices. What I wish I understood sooner is that frankly it’s not about how many people think you are a good person, it’s about those who know it. Those people in your life who truly know your heart and would never let your mistakes define you are the only ones who matter.
The older we get the more likely we are to tighten our friendship circles, and this is a wise thing to do. It's not to say you cannot have handfuls of friendships; I personally treasure every sweet friend I have made throughout my life thus far. You just have to recognize what people are your people no matter what. (And yes, it is okay if you truly only have one person in your corner.) The art of not caring starts with cherishing those who stand by you and disregarding opinions from those who do not know the you your people know.
2. We are to write our own definitions for love and happiness, and we are let everyone else do the same.
Lately I’ve found myself scrolling through my social media accounts and realizing I do not care in slightest what any of these people do to keep themselves happy, and if they don’t make me happy, or know who I truly am, why am I worried about their opinions of how I find my happiness? How you choose to love, live and seek happiness cannot be influenced by apparent approval or disapproval from others. Life is too damn short for that. Yet it is also not our place to speak on how someone else has found happiness or love because our place is to let them be. Everyone searches for love and happiness in different ways, and everyone has the right to create their own definitions for both. At the end of the day, we are all trying to live happy lives in the company of the people we truly love. In simple terms, the mantras of “living for you," “doing you” and “doing what makes you happy” need to be lived by.
For those reading this who find themselves struggling with caring too much, let my thoughts be a lesson for you that life is too short to spend living for anyone else but yourself. Address others with kindness and love, and learn to respect how they have chosen to find joy in their life--even if you do not agree with it.
Learn to stop caring about what anyone else thinks.
It has taken me far too many years, but I have finally found beauty in not caring, and I’m in a better place than I ever have been because of it.
