It’s a pretty safe assumption that everyone is ultimately after the same thing: Peace. I mean we all are just chasing after things that bring it. We want items to make our lives easier, people to surround ourselves with that compliment our lives, comfort and safety. All of these things are really just to give us the peace of mind, nothing to worry about.
Unfortunately for us, this is an impossible concept. We always have some crazy thing to deal with. We need to be here by then and have this done by now, that day is coming up soon and I only have this. We are running around constantly and trying our hardest to get to the point where we can just have a decent night's sleep. The kicker is a vast majority of our problems that we thrash around to try and fix, aren’t even in our control. We worry about other people around 99 percent of the time, which is hilariously futile. We worry about the weather, which is totally not our control (sorry conspiracy theorists). We worry about time. None of these things are within the realm of our influence, so why do we freak about them, and why do we ignore one of the most impressive things we can do to get those damn thoughts to quiet down?
In a world filled with a craving for little blue thumbs-ups, instant gratification and a massive slew of photos posted in nearly real time, we are forcing ourselves to constantly crave attention and positive attention, at that. We almost literally need it, so much so that many people are actually physiologically and mentally affected by the lack of phones and what they bring. So how can we combat this growing need for approval of our peers and people we actually don’t give a crap about?
Learn to like yourself.
Simple premise, right?
Anyone who knew me from the age of 10 to 17 will tell you very easily that I cared what other people thought. I cared so much. I basically drove myself out of my already screwy teenaged mind, thinking the person who just paid me a compliment was actually lying and trying to be snide, or that the people I tried to call "friends" hated me, until I probably made that true. I could barely interact with people. I mean, it was bad.
Luckily for me, I got my head on straight when I left for college. I got the rest of my life in order first--I found my passion, I stopped being messy (well, as messy that is), and I made the active and aware decision to stop letting what others think and say dictate my actions. That was the best thing I may have ever done. Not just because it’s quieted my mind a little, but because it’s allowed me to truly be myself and find the people I want to surround myself with. It is a little bit of a slippery slope, though. A good amount of people go overboard with the self-worth and end up thumping others with it, and making it a weapon. That's about the opposite of the point. You should learn to love yourself and chill out, not love yourself and try and force others to stop saying things because they're infringing upon your rights. Much like everything going on in the media right now that's way overboard and everyone is just trying to live the best life they can, and as long as they don't hurt people, who cares?
If you’ve read my articles before, you probably know I’m a photographer. Guess what I never would have subjected myself to before? Critiques. They’re one of the most stressful situations, if done properly. You stick what equates to a piece of your soul (art) on a board and let your classmates, whoever they may be, tell you why it’s not good. I’ve gotten some pretty harsh ones before, but it rolls right off my shoulder. Who cares? The only discernable difference between criticism and constructive criticism is your sensitivity. You could be missing out on some serious knowledge by worrying too much how someone says something, instead of what they say. People are way too variable to take inflection as 100 percent of their statement. They could have been thinking about something else as they said it, or had a terrible day at work, just gotten some bad news, or even just not paid attention to how they said what they did.
The best way I keep myself in check is by taking a few minutes, every day, no matter what, and basically meditating. Not the crossed-legs-ohm thing, but breathing and thinking about what my mindset is and how I can live the best of my ability that day. Try to pick out moments that would normally hurt your ego or make you upset and deal with them as they happen. Take a breath, keep calm, and realize that the world will keep going with or without you taking something too hard.
Ultimately, learning to be comfortable with yourself is a decision. It’s not something that is completed the minute you decide, but it is something that can make the world a much nicer place. When you aren’t so concerned with other people who are just trying to get to their finish line, you can find the best way to get to yours.
