According to the Webster Dictionary,

Arrogance: an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions

So where is the in-between?

I was the class Valedictorian in high-school. I did not tell a single friend at school before Graduation Day, and even then, I never brought it up before my address unless someone asked.

That doesn't mean I didn't want to. I wanted to share the news with those were close to me, but being the Valedictorian or Salutatorian is often stigmatized. "It's stupid, it's pointless, it only relies on your GPA." It does not ensure future success, and it is not a measure of one's intelligence, I get that. By no means should any Valedictorian or Salutatorian claim to be the brightest, the most accomplished, or any better than their other classmates by any means. Still, receiving this award of recognition is something to acknowledge and be proud of. Yet, in the rare instances that the topic comes up, I still find people to be defensive, judgemental, and often quick to shame the recognition.

There's a reason we don't go around boasting about our accomplishments. What modest person would go around telling people of their accomplishments, such as being the Valedictorian or winning Most Valuable Player on a sports team, other than to draw attention to or elevate themselves above others? Plus, those of us who keep things to ourselves know the cringe-worthy feeling of bringing accomplishments up. We think we sound beyond conceited. So, more often than not, we conceal our accomplishments, even from our friends and family.

But we've been taught to hide the A's on our papers. Flip it over before anyone sees. When your friends ask you what you about your grade, just say 'I did alright'. Don't bring up the fact that you ran multiple organizations in high-school. That will only lead your friends to get defensive and tell you about their own accomplishments. You scored a goal? Great, but don't go boasting about it. You were accepted to your top university? Posting it on Facebook is considered conceited, and could hurt someone who did not get accepted. It's rude and it's arrogant. Many of us have experienced these things, and the criticism that comes with them.

Don't get me wrong: many of us can be proud of ourselves without feeling compelled to make everyone aware of our accomplishments. Not everyone needs to know. But this doesn't mean we have to conceal it all. It doesn't mean we should suppress our own or even our friends' feelings of confidence and self-satisfaction.

Don't down-play yourself. Be proud. Acknowledge yourself. Just remember, you are no better than anyone else. We just need to distinguish the two, sometimes. There are people who want to be able to share the things they are proud of, without being placed on a pedestal. Let's be mindful of the difference.

There's a line to be drawn, no doubt, but accomplishments are something to be proud of, something to congratulate our friends upon, not something to necessarily hide. If arrogance is a feeling of 'superiority' and modesty is not being 'too' proud about oneself and their accomplishments, what's in between? Let's support each other; Let's commit to creating that in-between space for each other.