I stumbled across a Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice trailer online. Batman v Superman? Good god, DC Comics, you are really scraping the bottom of the barrel. Why is this acceptable? How can they just do this-- throw two completely incompatible storylines into each other, package the whole thing up in a million dollar marketing deal, and shove it down our throats? It’s a slight form of plagiarism, is it not? You try this in the music industry, they'll slap you with a copyright infringement. I mean, this isn’t even legal in school! That type of behavior can get you kicked out of Wash U. Come on. We won’t stand for this! We deserve original, entertaining, titillating content! STOP REMAKING OLD MOVIES/TV SHOWS/COMICS! (Unless they’re good, i.e., Mad Max.) I’m tired of it. Give me a new dark hero to love, don’t put Ben Affleck in the embarrassing position of trying to live up to Christian Bale’s Batman (which now that I think of it, was also sort of a remake of older Batman movies/comics. But you know what, Dark Knight trilogy, you get a free pass. Way to go, Chris Nolan.)
Even the Disney remakes sicken me. Princesses are frankly the worst. Literally. The. Worst. Who would ever want to be a princess? Queens are so much better on every single level. Just look at the new Cinderella movie that was released this year. What was wrong with the OG Cinderella movie? Why must you beat a dead horse and try for a live action version? I think my anger stems mainly from confusion. You people in the movie business; it’s a hard business to break into, no? You have to have at least some semblance of talent to become a writer or producer or whatnot. You’re supposed to be some of the most creative people in the world, right? Storytelling is kind of your thing. And yet, you struggle to write new movies, so you frantically Google something to remake. Has the well run dry? Have we really reached a point where there are no more original ideas, where remakes are the only things we can do because our brains won’t let us create anything else? I’m baffled. I expected more from you, Hollywood.
Now sequels are a totally different story. The excitement I felt when I read that The Incredibles 2 will be released in my lifetime (hopefully) was all-consuming. Sequels can be a redemption for previously "meh" movies or a continuance of the glory and triumph of its original movie. Take this summer’s Magic Mike XXL. Fabulous, really, what a screenplay! It instantly raised the first Magic Mike to a higher level with its greatness. Many times, sequels will bomb and be just horrendous. But it is a thrilling risk studios take, knowing that sequels have the potential to be so, so awful. I do not think studios feel the same way about remakes. I think they genuinely think remakes are a good use of time and resources-- and they are wrong.
*but I still may see Batman v Superman just for, like, research purposes.
