I’m sitting in my flat in a wee Scottish town eating away at a packet of cheese-and-onion-flavored potato crisps, trying very hard to think of what sort of topic to write for this week when an old idea comes to mind that I had been wanting to write about. It dawns on me that it also fits in with this Scottish theme, though it may not be obvious at first glance. However, we’ve all heard the phrase “The baby gets away with murder,” right? I know that many people would tend to agree. Even the babies of those families would probably agree with this statement to some degree. Rules tend to have less application to the baby of the family, and they often have more opportunities than their siblings. However, this is not all that there is to know about being the baby of the family. Not everyone has the same experiences, but let me borrow from my own.
As the baby, I have seen a lot of PG-13 rated movies, and I saw them, not when I was 13, but around the time when I was five. Why, you ask, would my parents allow me to watch such dark and scary movies, like "Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark" as a child? The answer is simple: I’m the baby, and they aren’t just going to leave me at home while my older siblings go see it. Perhaps this is why I have less sensitivity to the more violent side of film and TV today. Or perhaps I’m just like that without needing the help of special privileges. The world may never know.
That little perk could be countered by this one: As the baby, I have constantly been comparing myself to my older siblings. When I was little, I wanted to catch up to them, be like them, do what they did and read what they read. Now that I’m older and more like their peer, I feel the pressure to surpass them. I feel the pressure from the voice in my head telling me that I need to be better than they are. I have compared my appearance to that of my sister, thinking that she is gorgeous. And me? I’m just the baby. I have compared my accomplishments to those of my brother, thinking that he has done so much more. And me? I’m just the baby. I am stuck and lost in their shadows.
Because the baby gets lost in those shadows, I have had to try and blaze my own trail. I try to be so great to gain more recognition. This would be me attempting to surpass my siblings, and it’s not even all consciously done. However, in trying so desperately to be my own person, I still continue to compare my own personality traits with those of my siblings. So, I may have done some things that they never did, and I may have been recognized for it. But if I keep comparing, what was the point of those actions?
If you are the baby, and there isn’t a huge age gap between yourself and your siblings or cousins, then this may not apply to you. But if there is that huge age gap, you might understand. I am the baby, not only in my immediate family, but also on both sides of cousins. Not only that, but there is a vast age difference between myself and a majority of my cousins. For some, I fit in better with their children.
Fitting in. This is something that is only supposed to be in high school cliques, right?
Wrong.
Because of the age differences, I have always struggled to relate to my cousins. We are all at different stages of life. Many of them are married, or having children, or getting married or even sending their own children off to college in just a few years. Meanwhile, I have finally gotten to the point of attending college. I’m only just beginning to speak with them on an equal, adult platform. This means that there have been years and years of not really fitting into any conversations, and even now, it is equally difficult. At this same time, my older siblings can talk with all of the cousins like there is no problem whatsoever.
The baby gets more opportunities than their older siblings. Yes, this is true. But what about the memories that we don’t have? The older remember years and years of times with their grandparents. They actually know how to talk to their elders, because they’ve lived longer. The baby may have more opportunities for the future, but that’s not always the nicest thing, because we miss out on great memories and stories from the past that we didn’t get the chance to live.
Being the baby isn’t all of these sad things. After all, it’s not my fault that I was born last. There must be some perks. I have a lot of mentors and people to look up to – all in my own family. I know where I don’t want to go to college – who wants to go to the same college where their siblings attended? I did get away with a lot as a child. But lastly, because of where I am attending college, I have an opportunity that my siblings didn’t have or didn’t take. That opportunity was what I am enjoying right now. Potentially, if I wasn’t the baby of my family, I wouldn’t attend Geneva College, and if I didn’t attend Geneva College, I wouldn’t be sitting in my temporary Scottish flat munching on a packet of crisps and eagerly waiting for the week in which classes start.
So yes, the baby does get away with murder some of the time. I hope that when you think of this phrase, you also remember that being the baby of the family isn’t all getting away with everything because the rules don’t apply. There is more to being the baby than meets the eye, and we know it, as we have to be just as independent as the disappearing middle child. But amidst all of these perks and disappointments, this baby gets to go to Scotland. And I wouldn’t change my status in my family for anything in the world – not even a packet of cheese-and-onion-flavored potato crisps in a comfy cozy flat.
