When we are faced with a decision or given an opportunity to try something new, frequently our instinct is pretty clearly a yes or no. We know what we want to do and what we don’t want to do. Usually if we say yes, then that means we want to do it, and if we say no, then we really don’t want to do it. But in some cases, we may say yes even though we don’t want to do something. (And there are cases where we say no because we know we ought not to do something, but that is a subject for another day).
Many people have explored and examined this idea as to when you should say yes, even when you don’t want to. And the consensus is that it’s important to find a balance. One of the benefits of saying yes when you don’t want to, is that you find yourself out of your comfort zone and will experiment by trying something new.
People who tend to say yes too often may find themselves being overwhelmed with work, school, and other responsibilities and if that happens to you, it’s important to stop continuing on that path. In the end, it’s really up to the person and the situation. If someone can handle it, then why not go for it and see how everything pans out as opposed to avoiding it altogether? What if one day you decided to just say yes to everything that came your way, no matter whether you wanted to do it or not?
That is what Shonda Rhimes did. She has a lot of credits to her name, which include being the creator of "Grey’s Anatomy" and "Scandal", an executive producer of "How to Get Away With Murder", a writer for the many shows she has created, and on top of that she is now an author. She recently wrote “Year of Yes: How to Dance it Out, Stand in the Sun and Be Your Own Person,” published in Nov. 2015. For one year, Rhimes decided to say yes to everything that came her way, and her story reveals how doing this actually changed her life for the better.
In the book, she details her journey beginning in 2013 to where she is now, and how she chose to embrace life instead of trying to avoid it. Although you’d think that the woman who has a monopoly on the #TGIT lineup on ABC, features powerhouse female characters as leads in TV shows she has created, and owns a production company in her own name, would feel like she was absolutely killing it - but that was simply not the case, that is until she decided to change things around. That journey began when she decided to start saying yes to things, and we give her major props for stepping out of her comfort zone.
While on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, promoting the book, she said that her inspiration in writing it came from her sister who told her that she very rarely says yes to anything, nor does she accept invitations to do things; in fact all she does is work constantly. Taking this to heart, she came up with a solution: “to say yes to any terrifying thing that comes in my way.” Interestingly enough, she revealed that appearing on Jimmy Kimmel was the first terrifying thing that came her way. Other things she did included giving a commencement speech at Dartmouth College, losing over 100 pounds, and meeting POTUS and FLOTUS.
“Year of Yes” is a book that is most-definitely worth a read (and maybe once or twice after that). Shonda delivers heartfelt words of encouragement, maybe a dose of a reality, and finally, quotes that will inspire you to start the day off right. Below are a few of our favorites:
1. “Everyone’s got some greatness in them. You do. The girl over there does. That guy on the left has some. But in order to really mine it, you have to own it. You have to grab hold of it. You have to believe it.”
2. “I realized a very simple truth: that success, fame, having all my dreams come true would not fix or improve me, it wasn't an instant potion for personal growth. Having all my dreams come true only seemed to magnify whatever qualities I already possessed.”
3. “I am not lucky. You know what I am? I am smart, I am talented, I take advantage of the opportunities that come my way and I work really, really hard. Don’t call me lucky. Call me a badass.”
4. “I think a lot of people dream. And while they are busy dreaming, the really happy people, the really successful people, the really interesting, powerful, engaged people? Are busy doing.”
5. “I want my daughters to see me and know me as a woman who works. I want that example set for them. I like how proud they are when they come to my offices and know that they come to Shondaland.”
