We all have something that we wish we could change about ourselves, for me and many others it's anxiety. Anxiety is always lurking in the shadows, I’m never sure when it's going to show up for a surprise visit, but when it does it’s a living nightmare. Here are some of the annoying truths of living with anxiety.
Caffeine is a no go
Like most college students and America as a whole, caffeine is a must have, a daily necessity. Whether it’s early in the morning or late at night you need a pick me up. Anxiety says no way, one cup of coffee and your head and heart are pounding and all you can do now is sleep until it wears off.
Making plans just to cancel them
Life can be anything you want it to be. You can travel the world, plan girl trips or fun nights out with your best friends. They all sound great when they are future thought but when the days are counting down to the event you can’t sleep, eat, or think of anything other than what could go wrong. the thought of having a panic attack on that trip or at the restaurant and inconveniencing other people makes it seem like the only choice is to back out. Maybe next time.
Things you used to love, now you have to hate
You used to love late nights out with no agenda, the open road from that passenger seat of your best friends car. Used to love going out to dinner, or a movie. Used to love staying over at a friends house or driving to visit an old friend. Now, the thought of not having a way out, being stuck somewhere without your car is paralyzing. It’s more fun to stay home and Netflix binge alone, right?
You never know what it’s going to strike
On the occasional time that you gain the courage to say yes and do something you want that little voice is still in the back of your mind. You never know when an attack is going to come, and the anticipation of it may be as worst as the actual thing. Getting no sleep the week prior to the big day, and having every possible problem on your mind 24/7 can be distracting.
It compromises relationships
Time after time of bailing on plans with friends, or significant others they sometimes have had enough. Saying “maybe next time” tends to get old and you find it easier to just let them have fun without worrying about you.
Spontaneous is not your middle name
Everyone loves the fun and spontaneous friend, the one who is up for anything at any time. That used to be you, it was me too.
Change equals disaster
Having anxiety has made me someone who loves routine. Every day looks pretty similar to the one before, schedules are my best friend
Explanations are the hardest part
Being in large groups of people is hard enough, panicking in a large group of people is a nightmare. Feeling an anxiety attack coming on is the first part, trying to keep pushing forward is the second. Unfortunately, it sometimes consumes us and we have to leave. Explaining why you're bailing out hours early is another tough part which adds unneeded stress. Hearing "It will be fine" and "Just get over it" is not helpful, leaving us feeling worse than before.
Just say yes
I never thought I would be someone with this a life motto. Saying yes to things I want to do in life should just be something I do, now it's something I force myself to say and encourage anyone struggling with anxiety to make as their life motto.
