It is so brave to be broken by someone you love but then be able to talk so kindly about them.

To talk so lovingly, full heartedly, and so highly of them as if they’ve never laid a hand on your fragile heart. As if you didn’t hear the glass shattering below as they say they love you as they leave for the final time.

You find yourself talking about them as if you don’t mourn the loss of a breathing soul every day as if they never left. That this will just be another time where they’ll come back to you down the road- but they are not, and you know they’re not.

They were so toxic that you didn’t realize the bruises left on your skin and bones until you were drowning in their presence.

However, you know that by constantly talking about them and replaying the good times over and over you are doing nothing more than harming yourself. You find yourself checking their social media and seeing what they’re up to. I know that little drop feeling in your gut that you get when you see them doing better without you. How can they move on so fast while you’re just barely getting by? You need to stop thinking about them, you need to cut them out as easily as they did to you. You need to stop talking about them as if they weren’t toxic as if they weren’t abusive; you need to stop overshadowing the bad moments with the great ones. They were always so selfish and manipulative, and sometimes you get upset that it took so long to notice it. In fact, to this day you’re not even sure if they’re aware of who they really are.

It is so hard to spot the toxicity of a relationship until it’s on the brink of ending or you’re already on the path of recovering from it.

When you do get out of it, it’s a little harder to let go. During the relationship, you’re always thinking that they’ll change, that if you just hang in there a little longer that everything will get better. You start to think that they’re the best you can get and that you’ll find no one else like them, but that’s what they want you to think.

They’ll bring you down and bring you right back up immediately and try to cover every bad thing they do with something great. They’ll buy you flowers after they scream at you, then later bring back the same argument later. They’ll manipulate you and make you drop every friend you have so that you have no one else but them, it’s almost to the point they brainwash you.

Whether it be a significant other or a close friend, a toxic relationship can be so hard to get over. You essentially have to try and build yourself from the ground up again, and that’s easier said than done. You try to hang onto every good moment you two shared and even think about talking to them again. That maybe things can be fixed and it’ll go back to how things started.

However, you have to remember that you can’t fix things with duct tape. In order for things to get better, you have to find the route of the problem: them. You can’t fix anyone else but yourself and it’s a hard concept to get ahold of sometimes. If they can’t help themselves, what makes you think you can? They left your life for a reason, give them a reason to stay gone. Block their number, block all connections to them as well. I know it can be hard, but give it some time. Soon enough you’ll even forget that you used to check up on them.

The day they left was a day worth celebrating even if it didn’t feel like it at first.

Toxic people will destroy every path they cross and deteriorate every heart they touch. They are never coming back and that’s because you won’t let them this time, you are a lot stronger than you think. They were so toxic to you and the only thing you can do is hope that one day they learn to better yourself so that no one else goes through the same storm you passed through.

You are braver than you think you are and you are better than you think you are.

Do not let one person bring you down, especially if they can’t even bring themselves up and instead bring everyone else down with them.

Do not be them, be better. Be braver.