I think almost each and every person has had the "near death experience." You "almost died" on a roller coaster when the ride dropped and your heart went into your ass? Oh, was that just me?

Maybe you were tailing a truck too close and were on your phone, looked up, and saw your life flash before your eyes? Thank god for that brake right?

Personally, I have had way too many "near death experiences" for one lifetime. This isn't what I want to talk about though. I do want to talk about this experience, but what happens after it, how it can change us or not phase us at all.

For the longest time after I came home from the hospital, I was so persistent on apologizing to everyone and everything even for things from years ago. It was my very odd redemption phase. Don't get me wrong, at the time I felt as if though I had rid of so many burdens. I am starting to realize many different things now, more than a year later. One of them being, a "near death experience" does not mean you are supposed to become this perfect human being who is positive all the time and allows others to take advantage of this person you think you need to be.

This experience can also mean something else. It can help you realize how realistic you should be. It can also open your eyes to many things such as who or what you need in your life.

If you want to become closer to God or change some aspect of your life because of this experience, by all means, but never think an experience close to death means you are meant to become someone you aren't.

Our experiences shape us, they do not define who we are as people. If I let every "near death experience" define me I would be someone who doesn't have the confidence I gained these past few months.

I still find myself thinking about the past or apologizing to people about the most random things, but now when I apologize or approach a situation or make a decision, I do it because I want to. I don't do things anymore based on "I almost died so I need to."