Many of us have gone through this painful experience we call a breakup. Could be once or twice or just like Taylor Swift, a number cannot describe the amount of times she has gone through one (not trying to throw shade at Taylor because I’m actually a huge fan btw). However, the key to overcoming a breakup is knowing how to deal with it. We have all been there. We’ve all dealt with the pain and sorrow a breakup can bring and trust me, it’s not fun at all, but of course, if you have gone through one, you know it. For those who know me, you are aware that after a breakup I can turn into a huge drama queen, and to this day I'm still mocked by my friends about it (thanks guys). Here’s 5 of the stages I go through after a breakup and the different ways I deal with them. Hope you enjoy it, from yours truly, drama queen Natalia.
1. Unwillingness to accept the fact that it's over.
It's normal. You don't want to acknowledge the fact that the relationship is over. You start thinking about what's it gonna be like from now on. How will you go through the day without that one person you love and thought loved you back. How will you forget that person?! Not to worry, life goes on. If you feel like you need to talk to someone call your friends or a family member, support is what will get you through this first stage. Or if you're like me and hate talking about your feelings with other people, find comfort in something else like writing or listen to many of Taylor Swift's breakup songs or some sad rock ballad from the 80s. It really helps.
2. Psychotic breakdown begins.
This is where things get ugly. At least for me, this stage is when I start to feel the pain and begin to get angry, but don't be afraid to let it out. You probably start to throw away everything that reminds you of the relationship. Every picture in the room broken to pieces, the glass from the frames shattered on the floor and then everything you tore apart find its new home, the garbage. Of course, don't throw everything out because you don't want to completely erase the relationship since you can't deny the fact that at one point of your life, you were happy. Even though I threw away all of the pictures and letters, I still keep some of the pictures stored in my computer.
3. Party mode ON.
I wouldn't call this the fun part but it is definitely an excuse to party. You don't want to stay home overthinking the reasons your relationship didn't work because it's definitely not healthy and you will never get over it. Call your friends and go out. Have some drinks, meet new people and just forget about everything while you're having fun. Even spending time with your family can help; just avoid being asked about your ex-partner because you won't hear the end of it, trust me on this one... I've been there.
4. Acceptance.
After a lot of pain and suffering, you reach a point in this puzzling journey that you start to feel at peace with the fact that it's over and life goes on. Your wounds start to heal and you realize that this won't be your last relationship. It's all part of growing up and finding your true self.
5. Letting go.
"And that morning, gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean." You said it Taylor Swift, it happens when you least expect it. One day you wake up and realize that you don't really miss that person anymore. Of course, you may miss the feeling of being in love but slowly and without even knowing it that haunting image disappears. All of the suffering stops and finally, you let go. Time has done it again, it has healed your broken heart. It may take weeks, months and even years, but eventually you will get there. Just don't get stuck in the past and keep moving forward. We are still young, our hearts are still young, our journey will not stop just because someone broke your heart.
... It's an old story, one day you're young and in love and the next you realize that you are grateful you went through such a heat ache because now you can look back and say "i'll be alright without you."
