Have you ever been or are you in a long, serious relationship? If you have, you know how hard it would be to live without your significant other. Over time they become your best friend, and you do everything together. When and if you decide to break up, your world is going to crumble. It will seem like the end of the world to begin with. You will have good days and bad days. You will think that nothing is going to get better, and you will start to believe that there is no life after him or her. It will feel similar to the pain of a divorce or a death. Most days after a breakup, music is one of the best ways to connect with your feelings (other than crying.) One of my "favorite" breakup songs is "Six Degrees of Separation" by The Script. Just like grieving over a death of a family member, you will have to go through the same grieving process. This song describes, pretty accurately, what you will feel and what you will go through.
"First, you think the worst is the broken heart..."
If you have never experienced a heart break of any kind, then this will feel like the worst feeling you have ever dealt with. When you initially breakup, your heart will literally hurt and ache. You will find it very difficult to breathe, and you will cry more than you have ever imagine you could. Crying is part of the grief, and it is okay to cry. Unfortunately this is only the beginning of your pain.
"What's gonna kill you is the second part..."
When it sinks in that it is really over, that is when it really hits you hard. This can be the longest stage you go though. It is full of loneliness, and deep late-night thoughts. You will think maybe he or she will come back. Maybe we can work it out. This is probably the most depressing degree of all. Realization of the truth that you cannot do anything to get them back is the most uneasy feelings to deal with.
"And the third, is when your world splits down the middle..."
Your world will crumble. While in your relationship, your life revolved around that person. Once you think you are over him or her, you will start making plans and always find yourself including them in your plans or counting on them to be there. You will feel so lost. It will feel like you are really missing the other half of your world. Holidays and your birthdays will be the hardest to deal with because over time, your significant other became a part of your family. You will find a lot more free time to yourself when you realize they are no longer in your schedule.
"And fourth, you're gonna think that you fixed yourself..."
After a while, you will think it is over. You think you have gotten yourself together and are really ready to take on the world without them. This stage is very deceiving. Your wounds may feel healed, but really you are just covering your damage with a band-aid that someone is waiting to tear off. You have come to the acceptance that you will be fine without them and that you are okay with it (just wait.)
"Fifth, you see them out with someone else..."
This opens up all of your wounds and pours salt in them. It breaks your heart all over again every time you see them together. It will make you so sick. This leaves you with so many different emotions from anger to nauseous to depressed. The worst feeling is watching someone you loved so much, fall in love with someone else, and even love them better than they loved you. You only thought you were over him/her until you realize he/she has actually moved on.
"And the sixth is when you admit you may have f***ed up a little..."
When you are at this stage, you will go through your entire relationship and wonder if there was something you could have possibly done to save it. Maybe the day he or she was done with you, you could have said something to keep them in your arms. You will blame yourself for the relationship ending. You will come up with some stupid reasons and some valid reasons that may have made him or her give up on you.
In the end, you will feel so desperate. Like the song says, "You'd take them back, no hesitation. That's when you know you've reached the sixth degree of separation." No matter what they may have done or how many times they may have hurt you, you would take them back in a heartbeat. If you love them unconditionally, there is no doubt that you would still do anything to have them in your life again. Their love could mend your broken heart again. No heartbreak is easy, and it takes a long time to recover from it. If you feel like you will never heal or come back from a heartbreak, be patient, realize you have to grieve, and tell yourself everyday that you will be okay. Not every heartbreak will take the same amount of time, but you cannot put a time restraint on a broken heart.
