Growing up is a challenge. Middle school are the years most people look back on and cringe. There were the kids who blended in, the kids who everyone wanted to be, the kids that no one wanted to be, and then there were those awkward in-between kids. They weren't cool, they didn't blend in, they weren't the stereotypical outcasts, they were just a little mix of everything that didn't really belong anywhere. That was where I stood, and I would have had it no other way.
You don’t take yourself too seriously.
When you grow up with red hair, pale skin, giant teeth, social anxiety, and no hand eye coordination it’s not uncommon to be the butt of jokes. It doesn’t take long to learn however that the people who are making fun of you are more often your friends and family than not. You learn to accept your imperfections and appreciate that you can make people laugh with your own misfortune. Now, when I get a pimple, put on a few lbs, or fall down a flight of stairs, I can laugh it off rather than feeling self conscious.
You get to see the quirks in everyone.
When you’re awkward people tend to feel more comfortable around you. After all they have no standards of perfection to live up to. Even the people who seemed way too cool and confident to ever have anything in common with you, surprise you by letting down their guard and showing off their own flawed quirky selves. It’s nice to know there is something beyond the surface, and that everyone has their own insecurities and weird interests. It makes people seem more relatable, and less terrifying.
The moment you become even remotely attractive is not taken for granted.
That day you wake up and realize that you’ve finally lost your baby fat, that your face has caught up to the size of your teeth, that maybe being pale keeps you looking youthful, is one of the greatest moments, and suddenly you exude confidence, but not vain. Growing up awkward makes you appreciate any small physical improvements, but it also make you aware how much they don’t really matter in the long run. Ugly, pretty, or somewhere in between, I’m still me.
You’re friends love you for you, not your social status.
Making friends can be harder when you’re awkward. Social status is everything when you’re in elementary and middle school. Kids don’t want to hang out with the clumsy girl that gets made fun of. Once you make a friend however, you don’t have to question their intentions, all you have to offer is what you are, and the people who choose to love it are typically there to stay.
You’re free to express yourself however you want, people think you’re a weirdo regardless.
Dress yourself in 90’s pleather, spend a year wearing nothing but the color blue, take time to explore your gothic side, and then follow it up with a large ensemble of tie dye. Sing down the school hallway and hug everyone, or be an anti social bookworm. You can be all of them, no one expects anything less from you. You are strange, unique, and have the opportunity to explore whatever you want.
You learn more about yourself.
When you’re young it’s easy to force yourself to be something you're not, in fact some people do it their whole lives. It’s nice to fit in, to hang out with the right crowd, to wear the latest fashion. There are times where I wanted nothing more than to be exactly like everyone else. Now, I’m glad I never was. I’m not saying that I’m better than anyone, but I do think I know myself at a deeper level than a lot of people do. I’ve tried on personalities, I’ve developed a wide variety of interests, I’ve combined the ones I’ve liked and let it mold me into this emo, flower child, book worm, hobby hopper I am today.
You love yourself regardless.
When you’re awkward, you love yourself even when you hate yourself. Maybe you’re mad at yourself for accidentally farting on your first date, or for telling a new friend that you like to pretend you’re a cat in your free time, no matter what silly or embarrassing thing you do, you’d never dare change that about yourself. Despite all your loathsome imperfections, you still love yourself as a whole, because you’re interesting and your own favorite company.
