Ladies, this one's for you. My 21st year of life is soon coming to a close, and I've had the opportunity to reflect on all of my bar experiences throughout the last year. And if any of them have one thing in common, it's the annoying guys I met along the way. So without further ado, here are the Top 7 most annoying guys you'll meet at the bar.
1. The one who follows you around the entire night
Ugh. I've encountered this guy one too many times. Once you let him sit next to you, he's not going anywhere. Thinking about going to the bathroom and hoping he's gone when you get back? Not gonna work. He's going to do whatever he can to stay glued by your side for the rest of the night.
2. Mr. "Oh, Your Friend's Taken? Well How You Doin'?"
Rule number one, boys: look at her left hand before you pursue. Some girls have a shiny round thing on that hand that indicate your efforts towards her will get you nowhere. Also, if she tells you she's taken in the first minute of your conversation, move on. That being said, don't move on to me, her single friend, who just heard your entire conversation. I now know that I'm your second option, and I don't appreciate being hit on only because my friend wasn't interested in you.
3. Mr. Tough Guy
We all know this one. He came in with his slightly less beefed up friends, walking around with his arms pumped up, just looking for a reason to show off his big ole muscles. All he talks about is how much more he was able to bench last week, and makes some joke about "these guns." Spill your drink on him by accident? Five dollars says the next thing you'll hear out of his mouth is, "You wanna fight bro?"
4. Mr. "Take a Selfie with Me!"
Okay, yes. I am indeed flattered when someone wants to photograph me. But if you keep shoving your phone in my face the entire night, insisting that I be in all of your Snapchat pictures, that's just too much. I understand if you want to document your entire night via Snapchat selfies; that's fine, go for it dude. But I didn't come to this bar to feel like I was being harassed by paparazzi. I'm not famous, I don't want that burden.
5. Mr. Sadness
I feel so bad for this guy. He's at the bar because his girlfriend just dumped him, he lost his job, and his roommate ran away to Mars all in the same week. I feel for ya dude, I really do. And I'll talk to you for a little bit, but at some point, I would like to get back on the dance floor with my girl friends. Plus, the bar isn't the best place to find a therapist, man.
6. Mr. "Follow Me On Instagram!"
Seriously? You walk up to me, don't even ask me my name, and the first thing out of your mouth is, "Hey you should follow me on Instagram! You're lame if you don't." Uh. First of all, no I'm not? Second of all, you are literally a stranger, why would I want to see your posts on my newsfeed everyday? You could be an axe murderer. And third of all, bullying me for several minutes, trying to get me to follow you on social media, is NOT going to make me attracted to you. If anything, I'm about to block you on Instagram.
7. Mr. "She'll Have What I'm Drinking"
I don't care how persistent you are. If you're ordering a jägerbomb, I will not be having what you're having. I know what I'm in the mood for that night, you don't. If you really want to buy me a drink, and you actually want me to drink it, then ask me what I'm drinking and go from there. Otherwise, you're just ordering an extra drink for yourself, buddy.
There you have it, folks. Your top seven. Feel free to comment your own crazy experiences with weird guys at the bar, and let me know if I left any out that should be on this list! Have fun and stay safe out there, ladies.
