The all-nighter is about as "college" as Ramen noodles and that back-to-back holding hands pose that you and your friends do in every group photo. You may think that you're immune, but you'll eventually be faced with the reality.
This necessary evil is something that you'll have to face at least once in your college career. So, pull out your headphones and tune your Spotify to the "Classical For Studying" playlist. It's going to be a long night.
1. The Morning Before: Acceptance
So, you've realized that you put off your work until the night before, that you're in way over your head, and that you don't even know what you don't know. Don't worry, there is a solution. Rome wasn't built in a day, but, with the right attitude, microbiology can be learned in a single night. Usually, this realization will hit you at some point during the day, so you have several hours to simply think about what awaits you. Believe it or not, this is the fun part. Savor it.
2. Late Evening: Preparation
I'm just kidding, this is the fun part. Since you know that you have all night to work, going out to dinner with your friends beforehand to delay the inevitable seems like the best idea ever. Nothing makes you want to learn about cells all night more than eating 20 tacos with friends who are using this dinner as a pre-game. By the time when you finally make it back and set up camp, you'll have little to no motivation. This won't last long, though. Luckily for you, nothing brings out the organizational skills that you never knew that you had like extreme panic.
3. Late, Late Evening: Self-Loathing
Why would you bring this upon yourself? This is the stage where you will, undoubtedly, reconsider your career path. From a personal standpoint, this is actually terrible because I can see the lights of "Twin-Peaks" from my dorm's study room window. I mean, would it really be that bad of an alternative? Sorry, Mom.
4. What Could Easily be Classified as "Morning:" Actual Work
Finally, you understand the phrase "burning the midnight oil," even though midnight was hours ago. You truly begin to understand what you're studying. The mitochondria actually aren't the powerhouses of the cell, you are. The thoughts, "Why don't I do this every night before an exam?" and, "Sleep is for the weak" go through your head. While this is just the all-nighter talking, ride this stage out as long as possible. It's all downhill from here, kids.
5. Wow, it is Actually Light Outside: Delirium
Did you just see that fit girl from down the hall pass by on the way to her morning run or is your brain playing tricks on you? Also, has everything started happening in slow motion? This is the part of the night/morning/weird gray area that will make taking a "five-minute power nap" seem like a fantastic idea. Whatever you do, don't go to sleep. If you fall asleep now, not even the demolition of the very building you are in will wake you. At least you can watch the sunrise for inspiration, I guess.
6. The Next Day: Unconsciousness
So, you pulled an all-nighter. At this point, you have probably lost the will to live. Walking to the exam that you studied all night for will take the force of 1000 suns, but the moment when you finally make it back to your bed is totally worth it. Your roommate may question if you are alive/check your pulse repeatedly because you will embody the meaning of "sleeping like a log" for up to the next 10 hours. Congrats, you've earned it.
