Friendship is a fairly rare thing. You probably know a couple hundred people on a first-name basis, and only a couple are really close friends. Most people you know are somewhere in the realm of "acquaintance," whether that just mean you can recognize each other, or you hang out once in a while but aren't too close. Here we'll explore the stages of becoming one of those coveted few- a friend.
1. The Friend-Crush Stage
You've felt this before. There's a super cool person that you want to get to know- in a completely platonic way. While the feelings of friend-crush and a normal crush aren't entirely dissimilar, one key element- attraction- is missing from a friend-crush. You can also have both at the same time. You figure out you both think the other is pretty cool, and promptly move on to...
2. The Awkward Stage
If one or both of you aren't naturally awkward human beings, you might skip this step. If, however, you are like me, this is the period during which you're really trying to figure out who this person is, and how to interact with them based upon that. A lot of friendships end here, winding up somewhere in the realm of "acquaintance." If you make it past here, however, get ready for...
3. The Honeymoon Stage
You've made it past the awkward stage, and are now officially friends. Hooray! Time for lots of hanging out, laughing, and selfies. You might introduce them to your other friends or your parents at this point. If there's a mutual crush, this is the time to acknowledge it. There's no fighting here, just lots of love. Until one day, something triggers...
4. The Questioning Stage
So...this person isn't actually as perfect as you maybe thought. Turns out they hate cheese, or tell offensive jokes, or have a strange obsession with couches. Either way, there's some conflict. This is truly when your newfound friendship is tested. This is another stage where many friendships die, but when they end here, the result is usually awkward and upsetting. It's okay and perfectly natural for friendships to end, and you should never force a friendship- you'll probably start to resent them and wind up hurting each other even more. If you can live with whatever the problem is, though, then congratulations, you've made it to...
5. The Friend for Life Stage
Very few people reach this stage. You worked out your major issues- or at least a system for dealing with those issues. Congratulations! Your relationship has made it past its first hurdle, and there will be more. But, chances are, no matter how long you go without talking, no matter how far apart you live- this person will always be your friend. When you see each other again, it'll be like you were never apart in the first place. Cherish these people, for they are few and far in between. Confide in them, trust them, laugh with them, and in whatever way you can- whether it be a hug, buying them a gift, sending them this article, or saying it outright- tell them that you love them.
(This article is dedicated to Samantha, Cara, Jacob, Noah, Peter, Olivia, Anna, JP, Jamie, Hannah, Alex, Max, Elisabeth, Elizabeth, friends that I've drifted apart from, friends in stages 1-4, mysorority sisters, and future friends. I love you all very, very much.)
