So no matter if you are going through this process right now, have been before, or are new to dating, this is something we all experience. You’re first love is hardly ever your only love. In fact you will probably date a couple people before finding the right person. My advice is to take every breakup and learn something from it. Don’t let it make you bitter or never want to love again because I promise you that you will find someone else. There are so many people in this world and there is someone for everyone. During breakups the best thing you can do is pray, read your bible, and trust that God has a plan for you. Also a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough never hurt anyone. ;) So without further words, here are the 3 stages of going through a breakup.
1. Sadness
This is the absolute worst stage. The initial shock of the breakup and the split from your significant other is the hardest part. Being constantly reminded of them wherever you go and having to avoid certain things because you just can’t handle it. Every song is about them and all the things you do remind you of them in some way. You try to forget them, but memories keep popping up and make it worse. Eventually you settle into the stage of being confused sad. All you can do is ask yourself why. Why did they leave? Was it me? Was it them? You eventually in your confusion get to the transitioning question; How could they do this to me? This question opens the door to the second stage.
2. Anger
This stage is not as difficult as the sadness but depending on whether or not you’re a hot headed person it could be the most emotional. I’m one of those people that gets more angry than sad. After the shock ends, I’m usually upset and full of anger. Now you can be angry for a multitude of reasons. Maybe you’re mad at yourself because you did something stupid or maybe you’re mad at them for giving up. No matter what you will hit this stage. This is the point that things find their place in the trashcan or in my case… the bonfire. Yes, I have burned my exes stuff and not only burned it… but burned it live on my snapchat story. I don’t know about other people but I do not believe in keeping things from my exes. I only keep certain things and these things are useful. For example, the guy whose stuff got burned gave me a soft Lauren James blanket and other memorabilia from that brand. I love Lauren James and use it constantly. I couldn’t get rid of it because I use it so much. My last ex gave me a little toolbox to keep in my car and I keep that because it’s practical. I don’t like having clutter of them in my life or constant little reminders of what was, especially if I believed in our relationship. (Which if I date someone more than a month, I believe in it.) This also entails blocking and deleting people off social media if it was extremely messy. After purging the person from your life and social media accounts, you accept what happened and enter the best stage of a breakup.
3. Change
This is the best and most wonderful stage of a breakup. This is the part where you do something you have never done before or something you used to love but stopped doing. This is the beautiful new beginning after being with someone. This is your chance to proclaim to the world that you are single and you are okay. Mine usually involves changing my hair and some new fad health thingy. This time around I opted for hair and I honestly should do a fad health thingy because college and stress aren’t kidding about gaining weight. You guys know what I’m talking about. In this stage, you finally see your life coming back together. You realize that there is this big world outside of your little one you created for the two of you previously. This is the most exciting part. You realize that you are free to do anything and that you can do anything. I would say be responsible about it, but I’m not your mom. Do what you need to do to get yourself back together and through this time. I am a mother hen in my group. I make sure everyone makes it home from parties and give life advice. I’ve got a really old soul and somehow skipped my crazy party phase. So the most exciting it gets for me is hair dye and a new routine. Whatever it is, this stage is inspiring and like I stated earlier, a new beginning. So get back out their with your hot self and enjoy your life until the next person you're supposed to be with comes along. I promise it hurts now, but you are strong and you will survive.
