Its 3 a.m. and I a.m. currently sitting here and typing a story. The story of 3 a.m. thoughts, emotions and the hate. The feeling of knowing its 3 a.m. and there are about 1000 things going through my mind. Things I should probably not be thinking about and things that are not relevant to my life, currently.
Here are some thoughts that happen:
The Break Up
I fell in love with someone in high school but I don’t think that that the other person realized that I was falling for them. Everything that the person put me through everything, we had the best and the worst of times. However, this relationship seemed to control my life… I listened and took everything that the person to heart. Everything that I was told and everything that I was put through impacted me in the most negative way.
We Accept Love
The love I was given seemed to be tough love. I felt like everything that was happening to us was a result of my fault. Every fight, every time we would not talk for weeks on end, every time I was told I was a terrible person. Those moments were the ones I remember at 3 am and those moments are the ones that defined my past but not my future.
After everything I learned from my past I have learned that one must be brave enough to see love isn’t limitless.
The Freshman Mistake
We all encounter hundreds of people in college but it sometimes we trust the wrong people. For me it was the wrong person. I met someone my freshman year and it took about one semester for that one person to turn my entire freshman year around and into the worst experience.
At 3 a.m., these thoughts about the past become my reality over and over again. Hearing that one person’s voice in my head then hearing the outrageous sentence calling me “dramatic and immature”.
At 3 a.m., the thoughts that have not been answered become our reality. Our thoughts and unconscious feelings are brought up.
At 3 a.m., the things we have not thought about in forever.
The Stages
There seems to be some stages of staying up late and having these thoughts. One of the stages with the self-realization. With that processes we start to think about the emotions and thinking about the people who have impacted out past. These processes usually end with a lot of emotions but that happens at 3 a.m.
