Ah, good old Poughkeepsie cabs. Why might silly old Poughkeepsie have cabs, you ask? It's certainly not New York City, but trying to find a ride at 11 p.m. on a Friday night can be quiiiiite the struggle...that's why. Let me do some simple math with you.

College kids + cars + weekends out = bad idea.

College kids + cabs + weekends out = good idea

(Well, as good as it's gonna get for a night out, I'm afraid)

And here in Po Town, the cab drivers know all, and if you find one who's good to you, you hold on to them and never let them go -- seriously -- like you've got four years here. Put that damn phone number in your contacts the first time you meet them freshman year, so you're not desperately confused come sophomore year when you can no longer rely on the line of cabs at Donnelly. BUT always, always, always beware the cabs that aren't really cabs. Every cab should have signs on their doors and on top of their vehicle, make sure you're actively looking for those. Phatz and Joe are good guys. Some of the others... are not. But, I digress. Because for me, personally, the people inside the cab on those late Saturday evenings can sometimes be the most interesting part of the night.

1. The girls who literally SCREAM sing the lyrics to whatever song is playing

2. ...while they're desperately trying to get a good Snapchat selfie

3. The couple who is more than happy to take this opportunity to sit on top of each other and snug real close

4. The one who gets in the cab and immediately demands that their stop be the first stop

(Note: this is generally based on some sense of superiority or proximity i.e. “my house is closest!” or “I’m a senior, wait your turn freshies,” from which I am now benefiting)

5. The drunk one who is sat there making absolutely no sense to anyone

6. The sober one who is trying to pretend that this is not actually happening right now and regretting their choice to go out

7. The one who decides now is a good time to bond with that random kid in their marketing class and b!tch about it together

8. The one who starts going off on all of the people that they're going to try to hook up with

*while the aforementioned sober one rolls their eyes*

9. The one who tries to promote their own party

10. The one who tries to become best friends with everyone in the span of a 7-minute cab ride

"HI, what's your name? Where do you live? What year are you?"

11. And the most important person of all... the likely accented, definitely nocturnal, and slightly creepy cab drivers themselves!

Big props to you dudes for eliminating the needs for DD's all across the 845. You da best.