Within the last couple of months, I went through a pretty tough break-up of my own. I never thought I was the girl who would cry over a boy. I never thought I would care so deeply for someone. I never thought I could get so emotionally attached to someone like I did. I never realized how much he meant to me until he was gone. It's life though, people come in and out of it constantly. These stages do not only come from my experience but from many other people's experiences when they go through a break-up. It took a lot for me to have the courage to even write this article, so do not think I am doing it for attention or to have a voice. I am writing this article to hopefully relate to others, and let them know they aren't the only ones going through a similar situation.
Stage 1: "This will all just blow over..."
Where you guys just broke up and it really hasn't hit you yet. You think everything will be okay. You don't think that he could ever leave you for good. This is the stage where you are really oblivious to how serious he actually was about the situation. Which was serious. You think that everything will be okay, when in all reality it isn't and it won't be for a very long time.
Stage 2: "What am I going to do without him?"
You think your life has ended. You don't think there is anyone else out there for you. This the stage where you lose your appetite and don't eat for days. You constantly think about what you did wrong. You think that it's all your fault. You think that you will never have anything similar to what you had with him.
Stage 3: "I'll just make him jealous and he'll come back!"
Wrong. You are still hooked on him, when making him jealous will only push him farther away. He may not care about you anymore. He has probably already found another girl. Let's be real, he probably has. Boys suck. They can go make out and hook up with girls all willy nilly like they are all just fine and dandy.
Stage 4: "Why am I not good enough?"
When jealousy doesn't bring him back, you think: "Am I just not pretty enough? Did I ever make him happy? Am I just not enough?" This is probably by far the worst stage. It makes a woman think so little of herself.
Stage 5: Ignoring Everyone
You think this is the best option. You completely shut everyone out of your life. You don't want them to see how sad you are. Or even how angry you are. You don't show emotion to the ones around you. You are afraid of how they might think of you. You don't want them to know how much it actually affects you.
Stage 6: Always Angry
Where you are just all pissy all the time. You act like you are on your period when you aren't. Everything everyone else does isn't right or hurts your feelings. When it's actually the fuckboi that was in your life for a long period of time that hurt your feelings, but you are just taking it out on everyone else.
Stage 7: Mental Breakdown
Where being angry and hiding your emotions gets to you and you just break down and cry. You cry because of how much you miss him. You cry about the fact that you lost the one person you were most comfortable with. The one person you could tell absolutely anything to and he wouldn't judge you. The one person who always listened to you. The one who told you everything would be okay. The one person you could have no makeup on with and would still call you beautiful. You miss how special he made you feel. The one person who accepted you for you, and loved every part of you. This is so embarrassing because you don't want anyone to see you cry over a boy. We all know he isn't crying over you. Why waste your emotions on him?
Stage 8: Heartache
Where everything reminds you of him. You have flashbacks to the times where you took on your hometown with each other or when you went to formal together. You start reminiscing about all the good times. Which in the end just makes you sad and heartbroken. You realize how much you took the relationship for granted and wish you could take any bad thing back.
Stage 9: Apologetic
Where you think that everything was your fault. You apologize for every little thing you did wrong. Which is absolutely absurd. You somehow think that the relationship is solely based on what you did right and wrong. There is much more to a relationship than that.
Stage 10: Realization
You realize that he actually didn't care that much about you. You realize all the lying he did to you when he would always tell you "everything will be okay," or "I will never leave you," and even "I'll never hurt you." Everything wasn't okay. He definitely left me. We all know how much he hurt me. I'm still hurting. Then you remember all the bad things he did, like forgetting about you for two hours when he said he'd be there in 10 minutes.
Stage 11: Finding Someone New
Even though I haven't actually been to this stage myself, I know it's next. Once you are over the person that you truly cared about there will be someone out there willing to treat you right and care about you just as much. There will always be fish in the sea. Yeah, maybe it really seemed like that last fish was the one, and if he is he will find a way to come back into your life. You will find someone again who will make you feel comfortable, won't judge you, will accept your flaws, listen to you when you cry, put up with your sassiness and always be there for you. You just have to hold on.
