10 Stages Of Pulling An All-Nighter, As Told By A College Student
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Student Life

10 Stages Of Pulling An All-Nighter, As Told By A College Student

Pain is temporary, GPA is forever.

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10 Stages Of Pulling An All-Nighter, As Told By A College Student
Tim Gouw

I’m not here to glamorize the act of staying up all night - I’ll be the first one to tell you how much it sucks. But sometimes you simply must sacrifice your health and wellbeing for your GPA. (Remember, friends: pain is temporary, GPA is forever.) Although you may feel alone and helpless in the library at 1 a.m., remember all the people who have done this before you. Find solace in the fact that they, too, have likely questioned their life choices and laid on the floor in agony over an essay.

1. Determination

You’ve probably known all day that you’ll be pulling an all-nighter. You know how much work you have, you’ve just been putting it off. Now you’re accepting your fate and are determined to get stuff done.

2. Dangerous Levels of Caffeine

What would an all-nighter be without coffee? On your way to the library you make a quick stop at Starbucks for that venti americano with two extra espresso shots. You are ready to rumble.

3. The Set Up

You find the perfect spot in the corner of the library, set out all of your books, plug in your phone and laptop, put on the perfect music, and make a checklist for the night. Just doing that was a lot of work, so you take a 10 minute break before you actually get started.

4. The First Wave

The caffeine is kicking in, the determination is still alive and well, and you get a solid amount of work done. You’re feeling good, feeling great. Maybe you won’t even be up all night!

5. The Slow Descent

You don’t notice it right away, but gradually you start to feel yourself getting distracted more easily. The caffeine is wearing off. It’s becoming harder to come up with the right words. You’re checking social media more often. Suddenly you realize an hour has gone by and you’ve only written a paragraph.

6. Existential Crisis

You find yourself staring blankly into the darkness from the library windows. You start to wonder, were you really put on this Earth to be agonizing over work that you likely won’t remember in five years? Is it making any difference? Why are you here, really? Why is anybody here!?

7. Considering Dropping Out of School

You’re in full fledged freak out mode now, and since you’ve already lost all sense of purpose, you might as well quit school, right?

8. Anger With the Library for Closing at the Mere Hour of 1 a.m.

All of this thinking wasted a lot of time, and suddenly you hear a voice over the PA system telling you the library closes in 10 minutes. When did it become 1 a.m.? Why are they not open later? If they think this is going to make you go to bed, THEY THOUGHT WRONG.

9. Transcending Time and Space

During your walk to find a new study spot, you look up at the stars, feel the chill breeze on your cheeks, and take a deep breath. You feel awake again, and realize that time is a nonexistent thing constructed by humans. You literally have eight hours until this assignment is actually due. Why are you even stressing? The night is young!

10. Texting Your Besties With Random Thoughts and Questions

You don’t know why, but you start to wonder about the most random of things, like, why do I sometimes feel separated from my body while walking? Why is Ratatouillie such an underrated film? How is it possible to transfer money over an app? Is cereal soup? Even though all your friends are probably sleeping, you absolutely must know their opinions on these subjects. They’ll probably wake up very confused, and you probably won’t care about their answers by that point.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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