To the human that knows me better than I know myself

I want to start off by saying I miss you more than I could ever explain. Not seeing you every day is the hardest thing I have ever experienced. I never knew what it meant to truly miss someone until I left for college.

I have no idea where I’d be in life without you. Since my first breath, you have been by my side, holding my hand, walking me through life. You have wiped my tears and shared in my laughs. You’ve kept me level headed while simultaneously encouraging me to chase my dreams. You are the person I owe it all to. I feel like I could write you a thousand thank-you notes and I would still never fully express my appreciation, but here’s an attempt.

1. Teaching me to respect myself.

whether it be telling me my butt cheeks shouldn’t hang out my shorts at 13, or that no boy was worth my tears at 16, you have always instilled the importance of self-respect in me. Having you as my role model my whole life showed me how to be a self-respecting woman and how to demand respect from others. I so deeply admire your ability to force any and everyone to be immediately impressed by you.

2. Holding me accountable.

even though I hated you for all the times you ratted on me for not vacuuming, I can now see the preparedness you created in me. You taught me that I am responsible and accountable for my actions, and myself and to always surpass people's expectations. You never let me go back on my word and made sure I always kept my promises because you always kept yours.

3. Healing my broken heart.

You have always been and will always be the first person I go to when my heart is aching. Regardless of who or why or how, you always stick around and pick up the pieces of my heart, helping put me back together, even when I didn’t want it. Even when I didn’t know I needed it.

4. Sharing your wardrobe.

you know that black dress with the small cut outs on the side? Yeah, I stole it. I'm sure you already know, but you never said anything because what's yours is mine and vice versa. Thank you for sharing your clothes and makeup, your shoes and style tips. Blessed that we have always been about the same size (key word is about because you’ve always had the nicer butt. H8 u). Thank you for sharing your food with me at Panera, thus creating my never-ending void. Thank you for introducing me to Blink-182 and always giving me all your music. Scamming iTunes is still our greatest accomplishments.

I’ll bring the dress back during break.

5. Taking my side against Mom and Dad.

even when I was definitely in the wrong and definitely being a little brat, you have always stood up for me. And more than that, you’ve always caused more trouble than me, so sometimes I don’t even have to have the fights ;)

6. Pulling me out of my awkward phase.

I'm sorry for thinking fitting my whole fist in my mouth was cool. And I'm sorry for doing it so frequently in public. I'm sorry for being sickeningly obsessed with Pokemon and wanting to be an owl instead of a human. Thank you for constantly encouraging me to be normal. Or at least just not so freaky. You being my friend through my days of silly bands and crunched hair means more to me than any friendship.

7. Giving me the best niece.

You are without a doubt the most important person in my life. And your daughter is the second most important. You have given me the little sister I always wanted and a look into the world of motherhood. You have shown me the type of mother I can only hope to emulate. I know that when I become a mom, I will always be able to go to you for advice and help, because every day since Jaida has been born, you have been a perfect mother. She is the luckiest girl in the world.

8. Being honest with me.

when you told me that pink rubber bands in my braces weren’t cool I may have been mad at first, but I thank you every day for coming forward in saying it. You have always been brutally honest with me, whether it be about my clothes, my friends, what I was doing with my life or what I needed to be doing. You’ve kept me in line and helped me stay true to my values. I appreciate and respect what you have to say to me, even when it hurts.

9. Keeping my secrets.

I definitely would've been the one to cause more trouble growing up if it wasn’t for you constantly covering my tracks and keeping my secrets. All the times that I “just had food poisoning” or “was late on curfew cause I caught the train” were only believable because you helped them to be. You have more dirt on me than a defense attorney but I know you'll take all my secrets to your grave.

10. Being my best friend.

you are my go to. My ride or die. The peanut butter to my jelly, mac to my cheese, whiskey to my coke. You are my harry potter loving, iCarly quoting, SpongeBob obsessed, mint Oreo eating, SVU impersonating dearest friend. You have shown me what true friendship is and what all friendships should inspire to be. I pray every day that someday, my kids are as close as you and I have always been. I can't thank you enough, Jen, for being the most important person in my life, for making me someone I can be proud of. From cradle to grave my darling.