November has begun. Time to break out the Christmas music and holly jolly disposition, right? Wrong. It’s time to systematically expand your stomach to prepare for all the food you’re going to shove down your face hole. We’ve all seen the assorted memes, tweets, and Facebook posts about the end of October. Halloween is over; here comes Christmas.

We hear this argument year after year. When is it appropriate to start getting into the Christmas spirit? I say we should have that same sort of kindness, generosity and goodwill year-round, but at least wait until the leaves have fallen to start singing Andy Williams. It has almost become a game in my family: whenever we’re all together between September and November, we compare notes on when and where we saw fake evergreens or paper peppermints swirling in department stores.

But November is the time for Thanksgiving. It’s cool, not cold, perfect sweater weather. The trees are orange and red and gold—except for the occasionally stubborn maple that’s still holding out for an Indian summer. If you’ve been in school or working or both, it’s high time for a break, is it not?

Don’t worry, Thanksgiving has your back.

Why, then, does turkey day seem to be glossed over every year? I get it, everyone wants to rush to December 25th or the 25th day of Kislev (thanks Google) or all the other early winter holidays I’m too white and uncultured to know about. I know giving and receiving gifts is nice, but think about the food. Thanksgiving is the only time of year where it’s perfectly acceptable to unbuckle your pants at the dinner table.

Okay, I’ll admit, I already watched “Elf” a few weeks ago. I just couldn’t help myself; it always makes me feel all kinds of happy—plus you get to hear Zooey Deschanel sing three songs (three!).

The real culprit here is capitalism. Everyone is trying to make a buck, including retailers, radio stations, and mega-coffee shops.

Speaking of Starbucks, let’s talk about those famous holiday cups, shall we? I’m sure you remember the frenzy around the plain red cups from last year. Well, this year, the Seattle-based company has started serving their famous blend in a new green cup with a mosaic of faces formed with one continuous line, designed by artist Shogo Ota.

The new cup is intended to celebrate community, but has instead inspired another round of holly jolly outrage from people citing a “war on Christmas.” It turns out, though, that the green cups are not actually the annual holiday cups for this year, which will be the traditional red, so in a way the green cups could be like a Thanksgiving cup, which I would support any day. So thank you, Starbucks, for promoting togetherness—and pointing out all the pro-Jesus, anti-kindness hate mongers that I would like to avoid.

Back to my point, it is marketing that causes my favorite holiday to be overlooked each fall. The holiday season is the biggest time of year for many companies around the world. Yeah, November is probably a big time for Butterball and Idaho Potatoes, but Christmas is the time to get toys, tools, cookware, clothing, books, maybe a nice engagement ring for the new year, electronics, wine (spiced, if you want to feel European for a day), more toys, and always food.

Naturally, the ads start to pour from the TV and the radio and your cellular devices. The radio stations start to squeak out a Christmas tune here and there before switching full-time. It’s all just an elaborate ad campaign. Marketing teams around the country are capitalizing on our joy. Did you know the modern conception of Santa Claus was designed by artist Haddon Sundblom for a 1931 Coca-Cola ad campaign?

So all we need is a way to make a little money off of Thanksgiving. I know there are people out there who, like me, want to enjoy their favorite November holiday without hearing “The Little Drummer Boy” or walking through the candy cane-lined aisles at Macy’s. We have to come together and take a stand.

Here’s the plan: somebody get Hallmark to start up a new ad to encourage people to buy turkey cards.

We’re going to need a horde of Thanksgiving songs to give to radio stations. Quick! Somebody resurrect Bing Crosby and have him sing a jazzy ballad about mashed potatoes. We also need a croony number about pilgrims and the natives. Michael Bublé can take that one. We could use a fun rock diddy so there’s something for everyone. Someone get Paul McCartney before 2016 takes him, too.

Well, I don’t have a full plan, but that’s a start. We’ll see how it goes. With all this talk of turkey and potatoes, I’ve got the meat sweats already. Have a nice day.