One of the most underrated heroes in society is the step parent. Specifically, here, I’m referring to stepfathers. Let us be real about it. It takes a strong man to mend a broken family and take the role as a new parent to confused children. Selflessly, stepfathers do just that. So on Father’s Day, this one is for the step dads, and here is a letter for mine.

Dear Best Friend,

I want you to know I call you a best friend for a multitude of reasons. You took care of my mother and took responsibility for the well-being of my sister and me as pre-teens. Bless your heart for coming in at our worst points as young women and loving us anyway. For the record, the hormones imbalances, emotional breakdowns, and sugar cravings were not your fault. While I cannot speak for my sister, I will admit that I fought you. You were the new strange man trying to take my biological father’s place and tell me what to do, so for a while, I really didn’t like you. After everything that had gone down before you came into the picture, I had no faith in men and I had even less interest in a new one that could make my life worse. So, I actually plotted ways to get you to leave and acted on a few of them (sorry about that), but despite my efforts, you never left. You never wavered from trying to take care of us, so thank you for holding firm in trying to give us a better life and succeeding.

Here is the thing about best friends. Best friends do more than just stick around because they feel obligated to do so. Best friends genuinely care about the well-being, stability, and future success of others. That’s how you won me over. You never once brown-nosed me with leniency and presents. You cracked down on me and were quick to tell me when I messed up, but you never belittled me. You treated me like an adult who needed a reality check, and I will always appreciate you for it. You tried to influence me in positive ways beyond the cliché “stay in school” and “listen to your mother” and “eat your carrots”. You stayed on me about working hard academically so I could have the potential for a bright future and you actually helped me get there. Thanks for staying up those nights to help me with my papers and giving me grammar lessons. It meant a lot.

You crawled my back every day about getting a job so I could learn responsibility and you wouldn’t have to take care of me forever (yeah, I caught on to that). You taught me how to drive without my Mom. You danced with me during the father-daughter dance at prom and made it everything but awkward.

You showed me that I should never speak blindly without knowing the facts or else I will probably look pretty foolish. You got me a stable place to live in college. You helped me through my car wreck. You supported me changing my major and finding my own form of happiness. You never let me get away with excuses and finding contentment in my senseless decisions. You never turn your head when I need advice or help. You take over the role as a supporting, capable father in ways you really don’t have to, but you do it happily anyway because you love us as much as we love you.

Like a best friend is supposed to be, you’re the voice of reason and security. When in doubt, you give me a book and tell me to educate myself. When I’m terrified and uneasy about my future, you tell me that you have my back and I’ll be just fine, and I fully trust you to not let me crash and burn. When I get too above myself, you humble me and bring me right back down to where I’m supposed to be. Because of your constant support, I know I can break barriers or fall flat on my face and you’ll always be there to help me take my next step. You always tell me that I need people in my life who are going to help me and not hurt me, so thank you for always helping us. And giving us a Yorkie. And letting me have a cat. So, here’s to all the unspoken heroes who trade capes for football games and good bourbon. You can search for plenty of exceptional doctors, lawyers, and preachers and find them easily, but it is much harder to find the blessing of an extraordinary father. Happy Father’s Day, Bestie, and much love!

Sincerely,

The annoying kids you inadvertently inherited after marrying my mother