You know how the saying goes: "You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone." I never really believed it, but after spending the past two weeks in Pakistan, I can safely say I miss living in New York. This doesn't mean that I hate Pakistan; I actually really like it here. The thing is, there are some things about the United States that I constantly miss.
I miss being able to go outside alone. It's extremely unusual for a female to roam the streets alone where I'm staying. I go outside alone in New York all the time with my headphones on and my phone in my hand, but I can't hold my phone in my hand here. I have to hold my purse with a death grip so no one snatches it and runs away. I can't look anyone in the eyes for more than a few seconds, or else they'll realize I'm from America. I can't speak English outside, or I'll be followed by a mob of beggars because they think I have money. Just yesterday, my aunt had to hold me by the shoulder and waist while I was walking outside of Data Darbar in Lahore, Pakistan because she said I'm a young girl and guys will try to touch me. In broad daylight. I don't think I can ever recall having to worry about something like that in New York. I mean it still happens there, but not so often that every single girl has to be protected when she goes outside every single time.
It's happening now with the #BlackLivesMatter movement. It's so shameful to know that people are being targeted because of the skin they were born in. The senseless murders of innocent individuals like Alton Sterling and Philando Castile are unfortunate examples of reasons black people are afraid to step out of their homes.
Stepping outside in America is dangerous for minorities in America. It's also dangerous for pretty much everyone in Pakistan (or many other developing countries).
That's not the only unsafe thing about not being in America. There aren't really any traffic lights or stop signs where I live so cars, motorcycles, bikes, rickshaws and people all walk among each other on the same road. It's quite dangerous. Just a few days ago a rickshaw ran over my five year-old cousin's foot. I can drive, but I wouldn't even dare to think about driving the roads where I am, right now. Who knows how there aren't more accidents on the roads.
Just last week, my family's dinner plans were cancelled because there was a bombing outside and the roads were closed. It felt inexplicably eerie being in the middle of tragedies that I've only ever heard on the news or read in articles.
I also miss the cleanliness of New York. If you're from New York I know what you're thinking. New York isn't clean at all. Well, compared to Pakistan, it's actually extremely clean.
The sewage system here is outdoors, and I cannot stand the smell. I've thrown up because of it, and threw up an hour prior to writing this. It's really not healthy to always be inhaling such dirty air, which is why I try to stay indoors so I don't have to be surrounded by filth.
Oh, and did I mention I can't even drink the water over here? It's not clean enough, and I've gotten insanely sick from drinking even half a glass. The only water I'm allowed to drink here is filtered, bottled water. I've been experimenting with foods, too, and it turns out my stomach can't handle a lot of things.
It's weird; I don't know why I'm allergic to a lot of the food in Pakistan, but perhaps it's because my body can't handle so much adjustment all at once.
Speaking of adjustment, it's really hot here. It's so hot that I've developed miliaria, which is a prickly heat rash.
However, even though I have to deal with all this crap for the next month or so, I wouldn't hesitate to say I'm having a great time here in Pakistan, but at the same time I wouldn't hesitate to say I miss the United States.
I also wouldn't hesitate to say I'm thankful for America amidst all the chaos going on there. Times are bad everywhere, just on different levels.This doesn't mean that the problems back in the United States are small or unimportant, but I know that if these problems were presented to people in developing nations that have so many more smaller things to worry about every day, they'd laugh it off, and say they wouldn't care if it wasn't directly affecting them completely personally.
It's all about perspective and, right now, I miss New York.
