You.
Yes, you.
You know who you are.
You thought that you could put your hands on me without my permission. You took my "no" and completely ignored it. I said "no" more than once so I know you heard me.
There are so many people who are extremely unhappy with you. So many people that are mad at you. So many people who are going to be disappointed with you.
Are you proud of what you've done? Do you not think an apology is in order?
I will not thank you for the sleepless nights you've caused me due to nightmares. I wake up around 2 or 3 a.m. and can't get back to sleep because of you. The night runs through my head over and over again. What gave you the right to take my nights away from me?
I will not thank you for making me so uncomfortable in my own skin. It's hard for me to even walk out of my dorm without wanting to wear a giant hoodie or sweatpants. I feel like every inch of my skin needs to be covered as if I caused this to happen. What gave you the right to take my self-confidence away from me?
I will not thank you for causing my parents to question my safety now because of you. My mom didn't even want me coming back to this city because of you. My dad was so angry. My mom cried. My sister was ready to come and pick me up right in that moment. How is your mom going to feel when she finds out how you've made another female feel this way?
I will not thank you for the fear you've instilled in me. The fear to go out and enjoy myself. The fear that there are more like you out there. The fear to go anywhere but my dorm and work because I may run into you, The fear to close my eyes at night.
I will not thank you for making me feel like I caused my own fear and discomfort. I did nothing to deserve what you did. You barely even knew my name.
But I refuse to play the victim to you and give you that satisfaction
I will thank you for making me realize how thankful I am for the guys in my life. For making me realize how awesome they are. How respectful and caring they are. I take their friendships for granted a lot and this has really opened my eyes to how truly great they are.
I will thank you for making me see my true friends in this rough patch. I've had some of the best comfort and support from my family, some of the best comfort and support from my friends (may they be right down the hall or eight hours away).
I will thank you for making me realize I'm braver than I thought. I've seen that I'm so much stronger than what I led myself to believe. You made me see a side of myself that I was having trouble seeing.
Most importantly, I will thank you for making me see how powerful God is. He has been there for me 24/7. He's watched me cry late at night. He's seen my joy when I realized I deserved so much more. He's listened to all of my 3 a.m. prayers when I felt so alone. He's been my best friend through all of this.
You're not worth any more of my time, though. You not worth anymore of my worry. You aren't worth anymore of anything.
