First off, I want to say thank you. Thank you for all the awesome dates, fun food, and for making me think this is what love truly is. I do not want you thinking this was all a façade, I really did believe it was love.
But, I want to thank you for teaching me how to love. I learned a lot about myself in this enduring process. I learned that I am a loving person deep down, when originally I was a “no feelings” type of girl. I learned that I have the capability to love, and it takes a lot to bring it out. I learned I am a very caring person, probably too caring at times, but I care a lot about people who care about me. You may say this is something that should be a thing, but again I was an introvert. You taught me to be open and say what is on my mind, sometimes good and sometimes bad.
You taught me how to argue and to watch what I say. Sometimes I wouldn’t have a filter, but I learned to be careful with my word choices because you shouldn’t hurt the ones you love.
I also learned that not everyone loves like I do. I can’t force anyone to love and care like I do. Everyone loves and cares differently, and I need to find the right person that I am compatible with.
You also taught me that sometimes love is about letting go. I had this vision of the person you “could be” or “were.” But just like the seasons, people change. You were no longer the person I thought I loved, but you became someone I had to try to change. And you shouldn’t change who you are to become the person your significant other wants to date. If you loved me for me, you shouldn’t ask me to change my looks or personality. I am me, and someday somewhere somebody out there will appreciate it.
So thank you for the learning experience. I learned not to hate you, or dislike you, but I learned to forgive, not because you deserve it but because I am on a higher level.
I learned there is a difference between obsession/possession and love. Company doesn’t mean security and kisses aren’t contracts. I learned the value of myself, and that I am way better than I ever thought I was. It took me a while, but now I can look in the mirror and be happy with myself and be so free. I am no longer a chained down soul, but a happy person that I know deserves better.
So again, thank you for this. “We lose ourselves in things we love. We find ourselves there, too.” So in these months, I learned who I truly am. I found myself and discovered who I was. I have to fight through the bad days in order to earn the better days, and I know they lie ahead. All thanks to you.