I struggle all the time with feeling like a burden to other people. I have a difficult time asking for help sometimes, and I never want to need other people. I don't want other people to have to deal with or meet my needs. I have come to learn that this is just not realistic. People rely on each other to meet needs and we were built in relationships with people and support each other. I found a tip that definitely makes me feel better.
Some time ago I came across the advice that replacing "I'm sorry" with "thank you" is a smart way to express appreciation when someone meets your need or accommodates you.
That way, you're expressing your gratitude for someone willing to help you or do something for you rather than apologizing for needing help in the first place.
For example, if there's a schedule conflict that comes up with friends or family and someone needs to make a change because of me, I'm going to thank them when they accommodate me and change plans for me. Another example might be when I am vulnerable with a friend and express and anxiety or fear, I'll thank them for listening to my thoughts and feelings rather than apologize for them having to sit and listen to my inner monologue. I have found that this is an excellent way to make a conscious effort to acknowledge my worth and that it usually works pretty well.
It avoids placing blame on yourself for causing a problem as well and simply expresses thankfulness, which is positive.
It's a pretty simple thing to work toward, really, but it gives me some relief in some anxiety that I have. I perceive that people take to this response well. This is one instance in which I can't always control the scenario or context and what I'm feeling, but I can control how I communicate when other people are working to help me or adjust for me. Sometimes I am definitely prideful and stubborn and owe someone an apology. More often than not, I think, the things that I need or would ask for are also not as big of a deal as I make them out to be in my head. Asking someone to do something for me is probably not as significant and major for that person as it might seem to be for me. If someone cooks dinner for me, I'm going to try to thank them rather than apologizing for the fact that I'm one more person they have to give food to.
I don't always have this response, but I really try to live by this rule. Next time you feel like a burden and what to apologize, try saying "thank you" instead of "I'm sorry."
