Going through a breakup is hard. You have to adjust to living your life without a person that you thought would be by your side for a very long time. You spent so long building your life with this other person who has now disappeared from your life, just like that. Everything feels strange without that person by your side, and you seem to only remember the good aspects of the relationship and desperately crave for those moments to come back. You forget that you can be complete and whole all by yourself.
But, those moments of being flooded by happy memories that make you feel sad and lonely do not last forever.
As time goes on, you will begin to remember all of the bad moments, along with the good. When these moments come, write them down. Write yourself a letter to remind yourself why it didn’t work out with this person, and no matter how badly you might want to get back together with them in the future, why it cannot work. Remind yourself of all the fights you had, and all of the times you couldn't understand how the fights began in the first place. Remind yourself of all the times you thought that you deserved better, or you weren’t being treated exactly the way you wanted. Remind yourself of all of the things you did for that person that were never reciprocated, even though you deserved for them to have been. Remind yourself of all the times you needed that person to be there for you, and they weren't.
Most importantly, remind yourself that no matter how painful it is to go through a breakup and learn how to be independent again, you were successful before this person walked into your life, and you will be successful long after they are gone. This person was a temporary addition to your life in order to teach you a lesson. If they were meant to stay, they would have. The right person will never leave, no matter how stressed or scared of the future they are. They will stay right by your side, if they deserve to be there.
Once you’re done evaluating all of the hurt that your partner has caused you, and you tell yourself you’re better off without them, some of those good memories will come back. Cherish them, remember how they made you feel, and how you deserve to feel nothing less than happy. But, do not forget about the bad, either. Of course there were good moments in your relationship or it would not have lasted so long. But remember that you broke up for a reason, and you must learn from your mistakes in order to grow in life and build a better future. Remember the good, and the bad, and what you want and deserve in your next relationship, however far into the future that may be.
Don’t look back unless it’s to see how far you have come. You deserve better, and you will find better if you're honest with yourself about what you want and need.
