Growing up as an only child, I saw life from a completely different perspective. The world seemed like an infinite and scary place, when at the end of the day, it was only me versus the world.

I never had anyone to go on the playground with, I was forced to awkwardly approach the other kids and ask to tag along. I believe this is where it all started: my lust for real friendships and acceptance from other people.

When I was at home, it was just me and my parents. Nobody to play dolls with, to talk about silly elementary crushes with. I had a small family and my relatives were scattered across the country. My parents gave me everything I needed, but it still wasn’t always rainbows and sunshine.

Over the years I’ve encountered a lot of relationships and friendships, it has been something that has so easily come and gone. Moving across the country three times before I was thirteen wasn’t a huge help. Not to mention the fact that, inevitably, I was a quirky, awkward and a sometimes shy kid.

In high school, I had a lot of difficulty making friends because of my quietness. It wasn’t until college I branched out and joined different organizations. I was constantly surrounded by people, but I had never felt so alone.

I was growing as a student and a woman, but the relationships I formed around me were shallow and nonexistent. I would invest so much time and myself to people and it would never get reciprocated.

I can think of multiple instances where my heart would ache over the loss of someone I thought I could call a friend, a boyfriend, a significant other, or even just an acquaintance. Numerous accounts of phony relationships left myself to wonder what it was about myself that people didn’t adhere to.

But that’s something that I’ve learned from not only that, but every relationship that has come and gone. It’s never been my fault. There is no flaw in my being that causes the pain that I have endured from other people. There was nothing I ever did that would cause people to walk away.

It’s a natural cycle of life, and the people that are meant to impact you will find a way to stay for as long as fate finds it’s needed. There will be periods of life that you will hate the world, wondering what it is to strive for when everyone seems to be walking out the door. But that’s how you learn, how you grow, from learning from these people that come and go and realizing why they are no longer needed in your life.

Maybe they were there to teach you, or even to uplift you when you’re in a bad place in your life. But sometimes that’s the only purpose they serve, and once they have accomplished whatever it was that caused them to enter your life, it’s best to simply say goodbye and thank them for the tools and guidance they have provided you with.

Of course you will have those people that are harder that others, that you have connected to on such a deeper level than on the surface. People that you have grown to love and felt as if your souls have connected into one. These are the types of people that you will remember quite frankly for the rest of your life. You’ll reflect on the small things, such as the activities that you participated in or the funny things they would say.

You might start to miss them, but instead remember the outcome of the relationship. For me, the people that I have genuinely loved have taught me how to love myself, and discover who I am as a person. I can’t thank these people enough, there is a select few and they know who they are, no matter how much time has passed.

Thank you for seeing what I was too blind to see in myself, and teaching me that whatever comes my way isn’t the end, but only the beginning. I will always cherish the memories I have shared with each of you, and looking back it brings me happiness that I was able to experience them. I have recognized why each of you has come and gone, and it was because of the knowledge that each of you has provided me with. I can’t imagine my life without experiencing the relationships I have, and I don’t think I would like to try. Every morning I express my gratitude to these select individuals, and it also gives me hope and inspiration for my future.