Everywhere you look, there is some article or story reminding us to thank our best friends or thank our moms for loving us unconditionally, being there whenever we need them, and so on. Don’t get me wrong, I would be nothing without my mom or my best friends, so these articles assert extremely valid points, and I enjoy reading them as a reminder of how lucky I am. But, all too often, we still overlook some of the most important people in our lives: our best friends’ moms. These incredible women made the choice to love us, take care of us, and even fuss at us like we were their own, and their importance in our lives should be recognized and celebrated.
In Kindergarten, I was lucky enough to meet four girls who would become my best friends and are still four of my best friends to this day. By the time we reached middle school, our moms all referred to us as the “fab five”, and they took turns hauling us around to the mall, movies, birthday parties, ball games, etc. Through the years, the five of them became good friends too. Among other things, this meant that they agreed that any of them could “snatch a knot” in any of us if they ever thought we needed it.
As we moved from middle school into high school, we added a sixth mother-daughter pair to our group. The co-parenting agreement between these wise women suddenly proved to be more challenging for us to out-maneuver as we planned our weekend escapades. Trying to be sneaky with one mom is pretty hard, but five extra moms makes it nearly impossible, and they sure weren’t taking it easy on us. But we quickly learned our limits with each one, and would push them just as far as we could without getting into trouble. But in learning this about our friends’ moms, we also talked to them and enjoyed them (when we weren’t worried about them catching us doing something we probably shouldn’t have been doing!)
We eventually quit calling each other’s moms Mrs. (insert last name), and came up with fun nicknames for them like they were part of the group. We usually filled them in on all of the most recent updates of who was dating and who broke up, and other important teenage drama. They wisely advised us to run like crazy from any guys that they didn’t think were good enough for us, and if we had listened more often, we could have avoided quite a few losers. Then there was the fashion advice (aka: you cannot walk out of the house wearing that), helpful hair and makeup lessons, "moon gazing", and even the dreaded surprise period mishaps in the middle of a sleepover. They took care of it all. Then it was time for the “fab five” to become drivers. I’m not sure why any of our moms were surprised that we liked to exceed the speed limit because we’d learned from watching how they drove! All of these small acts that didn’t seem worth noticing at the time were the building blocks of the relationships that we formed with our moms.
As time went on, we thought we were getting smarter and sneakier with age, and therefore thought that we were getting away with so much more than we actually were. Now we know that our smart mothers were just choosing their battles with us, and knew everything all along. They simply decided not to interfere unless we did something that could affect us negatively. By communicating with each other and giving us a measure of freedom, our moms monitored our behavior from behind the scenes. They showed us that they trusted us to make good decisions. Because of that trust and independence, we never felt the need to push the limits too hard or to be overly dishonest about our plans (excluding our one attempt to trick them about where we were staying, which didn't end well). These women never felt the need to be "cool moms" - they set rules and limits, they never supplied alcohol, and they always felt comfortable telling us "no". By developing relationships based on trust and respect, our mothers helped make our high school years much more pleasant for all of us!
Now that I am in college, I can easily say that I love getting to see my friends’ moms almost as much as my friends themselves when I return home to visit. I enjoy their company, with or without their daughters, and there is no end to the stories and inside jokes of things that they have seen or heard us do. When I learned that one of these “fab five” mothers would have to undergo treatment for breast cancer, it really hit me how much I care about all of them. But watching her battle has reminded me of the true meanings of beauty and poise that all of these women portray in every situation they encounter.
To these mothers, I would like to say that I have the utmost respect for each and every one of you, and I hope that the saying “like mother, like daughter” really is true. If I have a daughter, I can only hope to be half the mother to her and her friends as y’all were to us. You have gone above and beyond your motherly duties, and have asked nothing in return. We have learned so many valuable, lifelong lessons from you, and have not shown you nearly enough appreciation. So here is the much deserved thank you to these special women. You have raised daughters that mean the world to me, and have played a significant role in raising all of the rest of us, as well. We most certainly didn’t make it easy for y’all, but you celebrated our best times, put up with our worst times, and sincerely cared about us through it all. We love you!
