1. "Can you send me this recipe? I'm going to try to cook tonight."
2. "What's the difference between an ophthalmologist and an endocrinologist?"

3. "Does this look normal?"
4. "Can I wash two loads of laundry at one time to save money?"
5. "It was an awful date, but at least there was free dinner."
6. "I hung a curtain by myself, aren't you proud of me?"
7. "How often do I really need to vacuum?"
8. "Maybe I can give you grandcats instead of grandchildren."
9. "Will I die if I have three RedBulls in one day?"
10. "Do I REALLY need this education?"
11. "Thomas Edison failed math, too, and look where he ended up."
12. "Would double-majoring be a bad idea?"
14. "Update: Cute guy in English class has a girlfriend."
15. "My cramps are so bad I can't move - I blame Dad."
16. "Is my car supposed to be growling at me?"
17. "You'll never guess what this girl in my history class just said..."
18. "Do I REALLY need to eat?"
19. "Would you still love me if I dropped all my classes?"
20. "It's okay, everyone else failed, too."
21. "I burned butter making pancakes..."
22. "Yes, that's my third box of pizza."
23. "I love you!"
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