Ahh, texting. We all do it constantly. We text in class, we text and walk, we text as we lie in bed and end up dropping our phones in our faces. Then we send a text to whoever we were talking saying, "I literally just dropped my phone on my face LOL *crying laughter emoji*.” It’s an endless cycle, really. Even though we text so often, a lot of the time we don’t exactly say what me mean …
Real Meaning: I probably didn’t fall asleep. I either got bored with talking to you or you said something that kind of made me mad. I was probably on the cusp of falling asleep and then decided to give in to sleep because you just weren’t entertaining enough.
Real Meaning: I’m probably going to go, unless you give me an answer I don’t like. Basically just trying to be ambiguous because if you say people I hate, I’m going to say I actually can’t go because [insert other reason].
Real Meaning: This is only true like 5 percent of the time. I’m using studying as a scapegoat to avoid talking to you or to have you stop interrupting my Netflix binge. Seriously, "Grey’s Anatomy" is way more interesting than this conversation.
Real Meaning: I’m LITERALLY so bored. Please do NOT be busy, so you can come be bored with me. Being bored and alone is way worse than being bored with a friend. I’m desperate for company, please rescue my social life right now.
Real Meaning: I mean, sometimes this is actually true. Most of the time I just totally forget to answer you. I opened your message and never answered because I have a short attention span. Oops.
Real Meaning: This is such bull. My phone has not been shut off in probably months, it’s literally always on. I probably left my phone on my desk and was too lazy to get off of my bed to check my messages. Or I was ignoring you and didn't want you to know I was ignoring you.
Real Meaning: I’m not that close to being there, but please wait for me and don’t get mad at me. I’m doing my best. LET ME LIVE.
Real Meaning: I TOTALLY care, and I’M MAD. You better fix this because the next step is ignoring you and then claiming my phone was off or I fell asleep. Hmph. #JustGirlyThings
Real Meaning: I opened this like an hour ago and have been avoiding answering you because *ugh* answering you means I have to do something. I was ignoring your text asking for a favor or asking me to do something and now, by answering, I have to DO the thing, and I don’t really want to.
Real Meaning: I’m here and awkwardly standing alone pretending to text. Rescue me. You’re late. Be on time. Please. Don’t leave me alone, you better hurry up. If you’re late, I’m going to seriously decapitate you.
Real Meaning: Uhh, I don't have an answer with words to what you just said. Or this conversation is kind of dying, and I can’t think of anything clever to say. Here’s an emoji to let you know I’m not ignoring you, but I also don’t have anything to contribute right now.
Real Meaning: I was either being honest, but then you took too long to answer, so I got nervous that I insulted you and tried to play it off as a joke, or I grew afraid you didn’t understand my sarcasm, so I swooped in with a last minute “jk lol” (just in case you didn’t understand me). My sense of humor is probably questionable. God, if you don’t answer within two minutes I’m going to think I REALLY offended you, and you hate me now. Should I send another “lol”?? Maybe I should send a meme…?
Real Meaning: I’m trying to be coy and chill, but I’m low-key being flirty.
Real Meaning: I’m trying to let you down easy, but I probably shouldn’t be giving you false hope. I added the extra letters at the end to make it seem like I’m more conflicted than I really am. Basically I’m saying no without REALLY saying no.
Real Meaning: THE LOL IS A LIE. THIS ISN’T FREAKING FUNNY. I’m PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE. Stop texting me. You probably just woke me up. This group chat probably isn’t even important, and I can’t even join the conversation at this point because I wasn’t part of the last 40 messages. Stop. Please stop.
Real Meaning: I’m stressing out. I asked you a thing and you are taking way too long to answer me and now I’m questioning my existence. Is it too late to take back what I said? You better not be answering me for a reason, oh God. Did I offend you? Did I ask for too much? WHY AREN’T YOUR READ RECEIPTS ON SO I KNOW IF YOU OPENED IT, AND I OFFENDED YOU, OR YOU JUST HAVEN’T HAD YOUR PHONE ON.
