Break-ups suck. Whether it was mutual, “it’s not you, it’s me”, or he/she cheated on him/her – they SUCK. At some points it’ll feel like all you want to do is cry and watch 500 Days of Summer for the rest of your life (me), and sometimes you’ll feel the slight urge to talk to that person again. But you must resist. Put down your phone, close your Facebook messenger, and if you just so happen to swipe left 1,000 times until you find your ex’s profile on Tinder, don’t you dare swipe right. Just DON’T (I repeat, do NOT) do it. Don’t text your ex.
“But we agreed to be friends!”
Hah, if only I could have a dollar for every time I heard that one. I’m not going to completely throw that one down the drain. Yes, in some very rare circumstances, exes can most definitely remain a platonic relationship with each other. Based on what I’ve seen, those healthy post-relationship friendships blossom from prior friendship. They were friends for years before they saw each other naked. It helps so much, so I’ve heard. And sure, there are some cases where they weren’t friends before. But time is the answer in these unique situations. It is nearly impossible to immediately go from a mushy gushy relationship to something non-romantic. Someone is bound to still have the feels, and when that isn’t reciprocated things get messy. I know. I’ve been there, and it nearly ruined our chance of friendship for the two of us later on.
“I just want to hook-up! FWB all the way, man.”
LOL. LOLOLOL. Okay, let me start off by saying that most “Friends With Benefits” relationships don’t end very well even with people that hadn’t dated before. Imagine how messy it would get with all of those lingering feelings and broken hearts. Ew. It really is a great concept, theoretically. The physical touch of a person you already know incredibly well can be so comforting, especially during a break-up when you’re longing to have that back. But that’s also exactly what makes it so bad. You’re hanging onto something that isn’t real anymore. Don’t do that to yourself. Be strong, and resist the tortuous booty-call to your ex.
“I just want to get back together.”
This is the trickiest one. If you’re intoxicated, put the phone down. If you’ve given this a lot of thought…pause, take a moment, and think some more. There’s a reason why this person is your “ex”. Somewhere down the road, something went wrong. Is it something that you think the two of you together you can overcome? Deliberate some more. Think about how that other person is feeling. Sometimes, it’s best to let that person go (easier said than done, I know). But this is for you. After a break-up, I’ve learned that the best thing you can do for yourself is to concentrate on you and do what makes you happy.
