You tap send and watch the screen nervously. Maybe you lock it, but you check it incessantly.
Did you say the wrong thing? Why are they taking so long to respond? What if you messed up? Why are they taking so long to respond? How could you let this happen? Why are they taking so long to respond?
Now, in your manic nonsense, stop it. Whether you’re waiting for a friend to text you back about plans or that person-of-interest of yours is a chronically slow texter, stop worrying. Unless it’s an emergency. You should probably keep trying to contact them in that case. But why spend your precious time counting the minutes until your phone buzzes?
Honestly, you have an endless amount of things you could do instead of wallowing in self-pity and overthinking.
1. Read a book.
2. Scream at the trees.
3. Stage a coup.
4. Design new bologna packaging.
Maybe change how it's spelled, too?
5. Plant a palm tree.
Regardless of it being native to your area or not.
6. Watch your palm tree bloom.
Expect to be waiting for at least seven years for any significant growth.
7. Make coffee.
8. Build a house.
9. Get a degree in architecture.
10. Design a better house.
11. Recite your favorite quotes from "Elf"
12. Discover a new island.
13. Realize the island you’ve found is not new.
14. Respect the natives of the island you’re now on by embracing their culture and not killing their loved ones.
15. Compete on and win "Survivor."
16. Take up woodworking.
17. Learn how to make fire extinguishers.
18. Watch the first seven seasons of Parks and Rec.
Yes, there are only seven seasons.
19. Use assorted sticky notes to prank a friend.
20. Genetically engineer a cross between a lamb and a fig tree.
Who cares if it's ethical or not?
21. Sing the entirety of Les Misérables.
22. Paint the roofs of your neighborhood to create a mural of a turtle from above.
23. Call your grandma.
24. Run for office.
25. Conduct a course on fire safety with Smokey the Bear.
26. Write a 12-part mini-series for BBC.
27. Build a fort.
28. Turn yourself into a blanket burrito.
29. Watch a Broadway musical.
No matter how long the waitlist is.
30. Rewrite The Office as a three-act play in which Ryan is the hero.
Redeeming his character may take some time, but I believe in you.
No matter what you end up doing, just stop wasting time waiting for someone else to fit you into their life. You and your time are worth more.
