I spent weeks trying to decide whether to take a spot in the class of 2020 at Barnard or to enroll in a new, experimental school in Southern California. It felt as if I were deciding between sun and snow, between being close to my family and alienating myself. I felt I’d be betraying my loved ones by choosing Barnard because of the distance it would set between us. I felt guilty for thinking about going to school in southern California because it seemed like everyone else wanted me to go there, but I didn’t feel drawn to it. I decided to commit to Barnard the morning I left to go into the back-country for three weeks, and as I drove into Arizona with my hiking boots and climbing rope, the sense of relief and happiness I experienced was overwhelming.
1. Sat and watched cars pass in LA.
While on an art field trip in Los Angeles, my friends and I sat in the bus on our way back to the hotel after a long day exploring museums. We were saturated with the creativity we’d been absorbing throughout the day, and couldn’t suppress our urge to make art. We all sat, cameras pointing out the windows, and documented the flow of traffic as if the herd of cars was a stampede of unicorns. We made the most of a menial, everyday experience.
2. Danced on rooftop garden at a museum.
My two friends and I were exploring an incredible, hidden museum (check it out, but don’t tell them I told you about it. The Museum of Jurassic Technology in Venice, CA. We came to the rooftop garden where we found a lush garden speckled with strange and interesting relics, doves perched freely amidst the plants and statues. The museum owner sat in a music-induced trance. What he was playing I couldn’t say - some sort of ancient string instrument - but my friends and I were overcome with the ethereal nature of it all. We started to move around the garden, dancing to the soft sounds of the strings and the gurgling coos of doves. Visitors came, mused at our strange interpretation of the music, and moved on. Our dance became an instillation, and we became art. It was wonderful to release any apprehension or nervousness, to not care about judgment, and to dance.
3. Backpacked and canyoneered in Utah and Arizona.
This was a time to spend away from the pace of life at home, a time to bonds with people and with nature, and a time to realize the beauty of the southwest. We learned technical skills, overcame our fears of heights, learned to trust each other as belayers and as people. The three weeks I spent in Utah and Arizona at the end of my Senior year were an amazing culmination of my high school experience, and I embraced each moment as it came, laughing with friends, eating great food, and admiring the beautiful Southwestern United States.
4. Took AP 2D Design.
I learned how to use a camera and to edit photos. More than that, though, I branched out in the art world and tried a medium with which I was less comfortable. I struggled in the beginning especially because most of my peers had had prior photography and digital design experience. Throughout the progression of the year, though, I was able to catch on and my photographic eye started to grow. I’m so glad I chose to do something that forced me to learn quickly and catch up with my peers. I proved to myself what I’m capable of, and produced some interesting artwork along the way.
5. Applied to colleges.
Writing essays about my accomplishments and habits served as a means of self-empowerment. This was a nice way to look back on my academic and extracurricular career to see what had formed me as a student and an individual.
6. Cliff-jumped.
Like canyoneering, cliff jumping made me crave the exhilaration of being high above the ground. I did it in every place I found a cliff; it became a requisite and a tradition. Not only did I practice this tradition by flinging myself into bodies of water, but I also experimented with winter cliff jumping - that is, on skis. I crashed more often than not, but I landed well a few times, and I’ve held onto those perfect landings as I’ve tried again. It makes me ridiculously nervous. I probably put more calculation into it than necessary. In the end, though, I’m in love with the feeling of flying through the air and then activating my muscles to absorb the impact of hitting the ground or the water.
7. Traveled through rural Spain.
The immersion into the language and culture, the beautiful food, the farms, the authenticity of the people, the history of the architecture - it was all unbelievable and taught me so much. It served as a catalyst in my lifelong commitment to absorbing and learning about other cultures. I believe in the power of travel.
8. Got rejected from colleges.
I learned about recovering and moving on from rejection. This seems just as important as actually applying to the colleges, and as long as we are accepted to one or two schools, I believe that everyone can learn a thing or two about themselves through dealing with rejection. Hearing back from schools was eye-opening because I learned more about resilience and staying positive in the midst of rejection.
9. Skied in the back-country.
My mom, my dog, and I traveled into the back-country bowl of Mayflower Gulch as we have since I first learned to ski there at age five. I greeted it all with reminiscence and gratitude: the stillness, the pillowy rolls and peaks of the snow-covered land, the memories of learning to ski, the time spent with Ma, the huge smile on my dog’s face.
10. I decided to go to Barnard.
I couldn’t be more grateful for the opportunity to attend such an incredible institution, and I couldn’t be more proud to say that I made the best decision after many days of contemplation.
