John Mulaney is a hilariously self-deprecating comedian who has two shows on Netflix. With finals week in full swing, there is no better time for some comic relief. So, if you’ve been looking for something to procrastinate with, continue reading. If you have not been looking for something to procrastinate with, you've come this far already.
1. When you check your planner/canvas:
At this very moment, where are you and how many things should you be doing instead of reading this? Assuming you are a human, I'm betting there are a few things you're saving for the last minute. No shame, because I can guarantee that I am also currently suffering from procrastination.
2. When it's just one of those days:
Although my personal attitude is usually in direct correlation to how hungry I am, some days I just #can't. And that's okay, mental health days are a valid excuse to do nothing.
3. Looking back on your freshman year:
This applies to a variety of experiences. Like thinking you'd make it through the semester with an 8 a.m., or that K-week events were all mandatory. Or worse yet, showing up to a party before 10:30 p.m.
4. How it feels to search for an office or classroom in any building:
Finding buildings on campus isn't necessarily the problem. It's finding the classroom once you've made it to the building. Or when you're trying to find a friend in the library and you've circled the floor they're on three times to no avail. Maybe that's just me...
5. During syllabus week when professors start talking about participation grades:
People manage to talk about Donald Trump in every class these days, and why not? No one said your participation had to be relevant, correct or rational.
6. When you have accepted that you will not do well on your exam:
Just remember, no one will care what your college GPA was except future employers ... do with that what you will. Word to the wise: if you are currently contemplating taking Earthquakes and Volcanoes, 10/10 I do not recommend.
7. On Monday's when you look back on your weekend of frat parties:
Make safe choices, travel in packs and use Uber, but don't miss out on frat parties. Those grimy, sludge-filled basements will hold your best and worst memories of college.
8. When your relationship/fling with someone on campus ends, but you still see him or her everywhere:
Kentucky is a large state school, yet I still run into people all the time. It could be an ex, or it could just be someone from your high school who knew you before puberty took its course. Either way, this person knows far too much.
9.When Willy T is popping but you're actually trying to get work done:
I personally avoid the library, due to my lack of motivation when I show up and everyone seems to be enjoying themselves a little too much considering they're in a library ... The giant Starbucks though, I do suggest.
10. When you've learned to accept uncomfortable situations:
Whether it be the aggressive preachers outside Bowmans or seeing a professor at the JC, college gets really weird. Just remember Cs get degrees, and John Mulaney's shows are both on Netflix. To quote Asher Roth, "Do I really have to graduate, or can I just stay here for the rest of my life?"
