Chronic illnesses present themselves in many different forms. A chronic illness is a disease that lasts longer than three months usually and cannot be cured by medicine, prevented from vaccines, or normally just "go away." Some of the most common (and most well known) include things as arthritis, Crohn's disease, heart disease, diabetes, auto-immune diseases, and even cancer. I myself suffer from chronic Lyme disease, which is very common in New England. Over my years of being sick, many people and medical staff (doctors, nurses, lab technicians), have reacted to my condition. If you know someone suffering from one of the conditions mentioned above or another chronic Illness, please never say any of these 10 things below, even if you cannot understand what they are going through.
1. Are you sure its not just in your head? Are you sure you aren't just imagining this?
2. You don't look sick to me. You look fine. (Or even worse) You look sick, what is wrong with you?
3. Do you really need all these medicines? Do they even do anything?
4. Are you sure you're not just tired?
5. I've felt that before, just take some Advil or something, I'm sure it'll go away.
6. Are you really even sick or are you just exaggerating?
7. C'mon stop being so dramatic. It's annoying.
8. Stop complaining.
9. You should try this, it always works for me. I'm sure it would help you.
10. When are you going to feel better? (Or) Why aren't you better yet?
While some of these questions or statements have the right idea -- concern for the person's health -- some suffer from general misunderstanding mixed with a negative connotation. If someone with a chronic condition is able to open up to you, please do not make them regret that decision. And please note that people with chronic illnesses are not complaining, they are merely trying to explain -- it is just hard to explain to someone who has never felt that way.
And while these 10 questions and statements above do not cover everything, it is very important to try and understand the ill person's condition, and recognize the fact that they do not have a set deadline to get better; for some it is a life-long condition. Most importantly, every condition affects every individual in a slightly different way and the best way to listen and talk to a chronically ill person is to focus on the positives and the little improvements -- because these may seem little to you but are usually a huge stepping stone for them. Let them tell you what they want to share and let them open up to you instead of questioning them, with ones like those stated above. This will be greatly appreciated by anyone suffering from a chronic illness and improve the relationship you share, and could even improve the way they view their illness themselves.
