It is no surprise that some would say that he is one of CCU’s top male bachelors, although there are only around a total of ten actual men at CCU’s very Christian campus. It has been said that next year's girl-to-guy ratio will reach an all time low (or high depending on how you look at it) of five girls to every one guy. So ladies, when you have such slim pickings, it is important to know more about the arguably “dateable” gentleman that CCU has to offer. Some of you may know him well, or at least think you do. Some of you do not know him yet, but I can tell you that you will not be disappointed. Today, I will tell you ten reasons why you should consider dating him, and unashamedly one reason why you should not consider dating him, because let's be honest friends, the “perfect” guy you are looking for doesn’t exist, so stop looking. Ladies, I formally introduce you to Ezra “single and ready to mingle” Bram:
Dateable Reason 1 – He Loves Jesus.
Now, let me elaborate on this a little bit because I know what you’re thinking: “Well duh, he goes to CCU.” But again—let's be honest—anyone can say they love Jesus, but what does that even mean? Ezra doesn’t just love Jesus, he loves Jesus. He is the kind of guy that takes his relationship with the Lord seriously, and always quotes the Bible in context.
Dateable Reason 2 – Bad Eyesight
The poor kid has negative three eyesight and is legally blind; therefore, he cannot see blemishes. But his heart has 20/20 vision and can spot a Proverbs 31 girl from miles away.
Dateable Reason 3 – Super Bendy Body
He is such a servant and will bend over backwards for you to make sure that you are well taken care of. But do not push him too far because he has never broken a bone. He has suffered through eight shoulder dislocations (six in the right and two in the left). He is one tough cookie.
Dateable Reason 4 – Loves to Travel
Therefore, you could take long walks on the beach, but not here in Colorado because we don’t have any. He also frequently travels to India and has been to England and Mexico. He is so cultured.
Dateable Reason 5 – Has Long Hair
Therefore, you can do your hair together. Now, this might be attractive to some and unattractive to others, but Ezra’s hair is quite different. It is perfectly shampooed and conditioned to perfection every day. He can grow a mustache if you would like, but it's not super thick, so he is very kissable.
Dateable Reason 6 – Eats Anything
He once ate a chicken foot in Mexico and enjoyed it. Therefore, he can stand your cooking if it’s not up to par, but start practicing.
Dateable Reason 7 – He Is Single
That’s always good, right?
Dateable Reason 8 – Longboards, Snowboards, Skateboards
His way into your heart. He is also a great teacher and would happily teach you how to do the same.
Dateable Reason 9 – Has Four Dogs
Therefore, he has had a considerable amount of training when it comes to having children someday.
Dateable Reason 10 – He Owns a Castle In The Mountains
So the dreams of being a Disney princess your whole life can now come true. This is just one way he would make your dreams come true.
Not So Dateable Reason
Well, it took him the whole entire day to come up with ten reasons on why he is so dateable. So I will leave that up to you and your discernment on what the issue can be there, but to me, it just sounds like he is a humble guy.
Better act fast if you are interested.
