We all would like to think we could soar through life carefree, but the reality is, is that we’re scared of a whole lot of things. We’re human, and with that comes having fears, something no one wants to admit to. We like to put up a confident front and pretend we’re immune to those kinds of feelings. I’m not talking about a fear of spiders or heights… I’m talking full-blown, life long fears. Although a lot of us like to push these thoughts to the side and hide them in the back of our head, it’s time to face the music. Here are 10 fears that we’re all afraid to admit to, and possibly even scarier fears we’re going to have to face eventually.
1.The Unknown
Like going into a dark and scary haunted Halloween maze, we don’t know what’s coming next. The unknown is one of many people's fears because it has an element known as “loss of control." When we don’t have control of things, we panic. Many people like to think they have a handle on their lives, and to some extent we do. We can pick our career, what we want to eat that day, and so on. But when it comes to big life events that will happen in the future, we really don’t know. Although that sounds scary, let that be exhilarating instead. The unknown can be just as exciting as it is fearful. Just let life happen and take it one day at a time.
2. Loss of oneself
Who we are, and how we define ourselves, is a major component to our personality. We’re scared to lose who we think we are because that then falls into the category of the “unknown." If we don’t know who we are, then how do we know anyone else? Many students find themselves facing this fear when they enter college, and then again in four years when they are attending graduate school. You’re forced to shift your entire way of life and adjust. When that happens, you begin to question, "who am I really?"
3. Separation
No one wants to lose someone they care for deeply. Have you ever separated from your mom in a mall when you were five-years-old? That feeling of being separated from someone causes a panic and frantic state of mind. Separation doesn’t only apply to people. Many people feel anxious when they move to a new house or new location. They are leaving behind what they knew and setting themselves up for something unknown.
4. Pain
All we know about pain is that it hurts. Now levels of pain vary from situation to situation, but in any circumstance, we want to know “how bad?” This is another fear that has to do with being in control. Humans believe that if they know what is in store, they can better prepare themselves. The problem with pain is that it often comes unannounced, making it a fear that many of us face.
5. Rejection
Remember in elementary school when your crush ignored your written note of, “do you like me?” Well, take that feeling of rejection and magnify it times 10. As we grow older we face more and more rejection. Whether it be on a date or a declined offer from the dream job you were hoping for, rejection is in our fate. But don’t worry, because with age comes wisdom and maturity. While rejection becomes more prominent, our way of dealing with it becomes better. We learn to take every “no” with a grain of salt. So out of all the fears, this one can be controlled by how we react to it.
6. Humiliation
No sane person wants to be laughed at or be the target of a joke. Humiliation is a huge fear for many and usually comes in the form of public speaking. Many people get very anxious about talking in front of an audience. All eyes are on them, and if anything goes wrong, there’s one specific target. The best way to face humiliation is practice being confident. Basically, fake it till you make it. The more you command a room, the more people will listen to you instead of judge you.
7. Disappointment
Disappointment comes in two forms; disappointment of yourself and disappointment of others. We don’t want to let down others, much less ourselves. We put tremendous pressure on trying to please everyone, but the reality is, you can’t. Prioritizing is the best way to deal with the fear of disappointment. Allow yourself to breathe and realize, some things must come first over others. You might succeed in certain things but fail in others… It’s okay. You’re only human, not Superman.
8. Failure
Speaking of failure, a lot of us are afraid to be bad at something. We all would like to be the best at everything we do but that's just not in the cards. Some of us are good at math, and others are good at writing. We need this variability in strengths and weaknesses so society can function. It’s like Ying and Yang, a perfect balance. Allow yourself to put your best efforts forward, but to also be okay if they don’t pay off. Failure is actually one of the biggest components to self-growth. So instead of fearing failure, let it be a sign that there is something more to work for. If we were all good at everything, what would be the point?
9. Death
A lot of people are scared of death because of, once again, the unknown. Nobody knows what happens to us when we die. A religious standpoint claims we go to heaven, and from a scientific standpoint, we go straight into the ground and decompose. While death can be something to be scared of, it’s also kind of silly, right? Why would we spend so much time worrying about how, when or where we’re going to die? It won't happen for a long time, so instead of spending your days fearing death, put that energy into enjoying life. Cause even though life is short, it’s still days away before you see the end.
10. Falling in Love
Now this list is no way in any order, but I must say, falling in love is what I fear most. It’s not that love is something to be scared of, but it can change you. It can make you happy, it can make you incredibly sad; it can make you a whole range of emotions. You are entrusting in someone else and building a deep foundation of intimacy. That is a scary thing. Love is powerful and unpredictable. It includes all of the fears above; the unknown, loss of oneself to the other person, the possibility of separation, heartbreak and pain, rejection, humiliation, disappointment, failure, and sometimes even death. But love isn’t something you should fear regardless of it encompassing so many other fears. Love can be the best experience you have if you allow yourself to face it head on. All I’m saying is, too much fear in any circumstance can take away from the experience. Let yourself live and don’t be caught up in your fears. When we fear, we pull back in life. Don’t. Let yourself move forward.
